For most of us, I suspect, the holiday break feels like a distant memory. I was talking to a client the other day who said, "I had a wonderful relaxing holiday with my family...but I'm already beat."
Life is stressful. We have lots of conflicting priorities: family/work/ travel/personal. And that's just the day-to-day -- it doesn't even account for the various emergencies, alarums and excursions that get lobbed over the transom into the midst of our lives with demoralizing frequency.
The good news is, there are some simple things you can do on a daily basis to inoculate yourself against energy suckage - to make it less likely that you'll go to bed at night feeling like you've been run over by a big truck. None of them require special ability or money, and all are within your control:
Be kind to your body - It's easy to get into a vicious cycle when you're busy: You don't take the time to eat or sleep properly, which makes you more tired and less effective/efficient, so you have even less time to eat and sleep well, so you're more tired and even less effective/efficient...You get the picture. Whenever you're tempted to throw your own body under the bus of your crazy schedule - stop. Just for today, have a simple, healthy, delicious meal (not fast food, not from the vending machines at work, not out of a bag or a box), and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Things may look very different in the morning.
Practice 'good mental hygiene' - This was a favorite phrase of my mom's, meaning 'don't indulge in unnecessarily negative thinking.' For instance, if you find yourself thinking, "I'll never get out from under all of this - nobody will help me," challenge that with more hopeful - but still realistic - thinking. Maybe something like, "This is a really intense week - I need to focus on the most important things, and see if I can get some help from Susan." We can actually manage our thoughts to a much greater extent than we usually do - and it can have a hugely positive impact.
Cultivate supporters. We all know that there are some people who make our lives harder, and some who make it easier and better. Sadly, you can't always avoid the former - but you can spend as much time as possible with the latter. Indulge in and appreciate the joy of being with people who support and trust you, who enrich your life and make it more joyful. And if you don't now have such people in your life - find some.
Find time for pleasure. Five minutes of pure fun or joy in the midst of a grind can be astonishingly rejuvenating. One piece of dark chocolate, thoroughly savored, at 3pm on a grueling day; a full-on belly laugh half-way through a long, tough meeting; looking out the window at a beautiful spring tree and just breathing for a minute, right after getting off a particularly harrowing phone call - these can feel life-saving.
Limit complaining. Complaining is like smoking: it may feel great while you're doing it, but it's really destructive long-term. Have you ever noticed that the people who kvetch the most are the most dissatisfied, sour and unhappy-looking people? Complaining doesn't solve anything, and it ties up all your energy into resentment and self-righteousness. If you notice yourself spending more than, say, 5% of your time talking about how bad things are or how other people are screwing up or making your life a living hell - you might want to head yourself down a more constructive path, like figuring out how to make things better. Complaining is a hard habit to break, but it's worth doing - it can be a real energy-booster (for you and everyone around you).
Rest your brain. Stop thinking for a few minutes. If you know how to meditate, do that. If not, just observe your breathing. I was waiting in line at
Call time out. When little kids get too wound up to be reasonable, you give them a time out. It allows them to calm down, disconnect from whatever is freaking them out, and then do what's needed (apologize, or give their friend's toy back, or clean up their room.) As an adult, you can also give yourself a time out: whenever you feel yourself getting too wound up, frazzled, unreasonable, angry, confused - just take a break. Excuse yourself; find someplace private (even a bathroom); take a few minutes to cry, or yell, or breathe deeply, or do nothing. Once you feel a little more normal, come back. It works for four-year-olds, and it works for us.
Give something. When we're stressed, we tend to get over-focused on ourselves; it's like getting caught in a negative energy vortex. Things aren't working; we start worrying about it; we think less clearly; things work less well; we get more scared and anxious; we feel more stressed...suddenly all we can think about is what's happening with us. Sometimes the best way to break out of the cycle is to focus on giving of ourselves to someone else. Listen to your child; spend an hour at a homeless shelter; help someone at work who's overwhelmed; walk a neighbor's dog. It can be a difficult shift to make - it takes real effort - but doing so can have a quite remarkable impact on your energy and enthusiasm.
Be grateful. Some days, everything seems bad. You're exhausted, your boss is not at all pleased, your spouse is grumpy, your baby comes down with a cold, and you forgot to pay the electric bill. Thoroughly awful. Counter-intuitively, one of the most powerful ways to re-energize yourself on an awful day is to remind yourself of just one thing in your life that is wonderful. Your baby, though crabby and drippy, is the light of your life. Your boss, though unhappy with you today, is actually a great guy. You may have forgotten to pay the electric bill, but you love your cozy, charming house - and you did pay the mortgage. Research shows that gratitude has all kinds of health benefits, including stress reduction. You just have to bring to mind and acknowledge the positive aspects of your life that exist even on horrific days.
Taking any of these steps when you're stressed, tired and/or overworked can be a challenge. But it is possible...and the more you do it, the easier it gets.
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Check out Erika Andersen’s latest book, Leading So People Will Follow, and discover how to be a followable leader. Booklist called it “a book to read more than once and to consult many times.”
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