Here's an extreme understatement for you: It is difficult to approach someone in a bar, on the street, or in a crowded venue and try to charm them with the perfect come-on. Which is precisely why we have the scripted perfection of movies.
Since the medium's inception, movie characters have given us a wealth of romantic remarks custom-built to help one score with a would-be significant other—or, at least, chip away at the ice enough to allow for further chit-chat and drinks. Not that you should try to replicate all of these lines, mind you.
But here, we've assembled a wide selection of the best quips, cracks, and retorts onscreen men—and a few women—have used in the name of love and sex. Watch, read, and learn. Godspeed.
Clark Gable, Gone with the Wind (1939)
"You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed, and often. And by someone who knows how."
Groucho Marx, Duck Soup (1933)
"Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first."
Audrey Hepburn, Charade (1963)
"I don't bite, you know... unless it's called for."
John Travolta, Face/Off (1997)
"I hate to see you go, I love to watch you leave."
Will Smith, Hitch (2005)
"Now on the one hand, it's very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But on the other hand, should that be your problem?"
Al Pacino, Scarface (1983)
"You're good-looking. You got a beautiful body, beautiful legs, beautiful face, all these guys in love with you. Only you've got a look in your eye like you haven't been fucked in a year."
George Clooney, Intolerable Cruelty (2003)
"Your husband had told me you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. I didn't expect the most beautiful woman I'd ever met."
John Cusack, The Sure Thing (1985)
"How would you like to have a sexual encounter so intense, it could conceivably change your political views?"
Lauren Bacall, To Have and Have Not (1944)
"You know how to whistle, don't you Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow."
Russell Crowe, A Beautiful Mind (2001)
"I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that? I mean, essentially we are talking about fluid exchange, right? So could we just go straight to the sex?"
Andy Garcia, Internal Affairs (1990)
"That's a nice dress—where's the rest of it?"
Bruce Campbell, Army of Darkness (1992)
"Gimme some sugar, baby."
Ralph Fiennes, The English Patient (1996)
"Swoon—I'll catch you."
Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets (1997)
"You make me want to be a better man."
Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally (1989)
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
Owen Wilson, Wedding Crashers (2005)
"You know how they say we only use ten percent of our brains? I think we only use ten percent of our hearts."
Jimmy Stewart, You Can't Take It with You (1938)
"I hear voices, too. Voices that say, 'If you don't kiss her soon, you're a chump.'"
John Gilbert, Flesh and the Devil (1926)
"You know... when you blow out the match... that's an invitation to kiss you...?"
Woody Allen, Annie Hall (1977)
"You know what you are? You're polymorphously perverse."
Brad Pitt, Thelma and Louise (1991)
"I may be an outlaw, darling. But you're the one stealing my heart."
Ingrid Bergman, Casablanca (1942)
"Is that canon fire, or is it my heart pounding?"
Bill Murray, Lost in Translation (2003)
"Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We'd have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or are you out?"
Ryan Gosling, The Notebook (2004)
"I want you. I want all of you. Forever. You and me. Every day."
Steve Carell, Anchorman (2004)
"I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party."
Matt Damon, Good Will Hunting (1997)
"You were hoping to get a goodnight kiss?" "I was hoping to get goodnight laid."
Mae West, She Done Him Wrong (1933)
"Why don't you come up sometime and see me?"
Billy Waldeman, Kids (1995)
"Gertie, I want to buy you food, I want to buy you corn dogs, I want to buy you anything."
Mike Myers, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
"Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing."
Meg Ryan, Top Gun (1986)
"Take me to bed or lose me forever."
Jay Chandrasekhar, Beerfest (2006)
"We gotta get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini."
Bradley Cooper, The Hangover (2009)
"Ma'am in the leopard dress—you have an amazing rack."
Natalie Portman, No Strings Attached (2011)
"You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat."
Sean Connery, You Only Live Twice (1967)
"Now what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"
Tom Cruise, Vanilla Sky (2001)
"See, I've got this little problem. I've got a stalker... I need a cover. I need for you to pretend we're having a scintillating conversation, and you are wildly entertained."
Jonah Hill, Superbad (2007)
"You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours." "Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock."
Steve Carell, The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)
"Your hat has sequins."
Curtis Armstrong, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise (1987)
"Excuse me, miss. I just want you to know that I don't intend to sleep with another woman until I'm back here in your arms with my head resting between your creamy thighs."
Will Ferrell, Anchorman (2004)
"I don't know how to put this, but... I'm kind of a big deal."
Kathleen Turner, Body Heat (1981)
"You're not too smart—I like that in a man."
Sam Rockwell, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
"Wanna see my spaceship?"
Gary Oldman, Dracula (1992)
"I have crossed oceans of time to find you."
Ben Stiller, Dodgeball (2004)
"There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer relationship. Unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing. In which case, I got some shackles in the back. I'm just kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em."
Matthew Perry, Fools Rush In (1997)
"You are everything I never knew I always wanted."
Groucho Marx, A Day at the Races (1937)
"Marry me, and I'll never look at any other horse."
Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
Olivier Martinez, Unfaithful (2002)
"Your eyes are amazing, you know that? You should never shut them, even at night."
Tom Cruise, Jerry Maguire (1996)
"I love you. You complete me."
Nicolas Cage, Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
"I really wish you'd come home with me. You're so cute, and I'm really good in bed, too, believe me."
Will Ferrell, Night at the Roxbury (1998)
"You know what I heard when I first met you? Beeeeoooo! Beeeeoooo! Beeeeoooo! Beeeeoooo. That's an ambulance, come to take me away, 'cause the sight of you stopped my heart. Beeeeoooooooooooo."
Vanilla Ice, Cool as Ice (1991)
"Drop that zero and get with the hero."
