Today, publisher Activision announced plans for a brand new exclusive quest in Destiny, a video game in which players travel space learning the true definition of corporate greed.
The good news: it’s a “never-before-seen, multi-stage mission in [upcoming expansion] The Taken King that will test the speed and strategic abilities of Destiny players in new ways.”
The bad news: you can only get it if you buy a can of Red Bull, a taurine-packed energy drink that tastes like a cross between licorice and turpentine.
Says Activision in a press release:
Activision Publishing, Inc. and Bungie, together with energy drink category leader Red Bull today announced a partnership that will bring an epic new quest to players of the popular sci-fi action adventure game franchise Destiny via custom-designed Red Bull® Energy Drink cans, inviting consumers across the United States and Canada to Become Legend, making this the first time a video-game, or any third party brand, has ever appeared on the iconic Red Bull can.
Access to the quest will be available on specially-marked cans of Red Bull and leverage themes of speed, tenacity and strategy inspired by the energy drink, through www.RedBullQuest.com. Each Red Bull can will also include bonus XP to help players prepare for this epic quest. Players can start using the bonus XP throughout the summer, with the in-game quest kicking off following the launch of The Taken King, the latest addition to the Destiny universe scheduled for release on September 15, 2015.
Put another way: Not content just to screw over Xbox players, Activision and Bungie have teamed up to also deny things to anyone who doesn’t want a heart attack by age 50. According to the fine print, this “epic new quest” will be Red Bull-exclusive from September 18 to December 31, as will an XP booster that bumps up your gains for half an hour or so. Forget the booster, though — it’s the quest that’s really got me peeved. Hardcore Destiny players have been looking forward to The Taken King not just because House of Wolves seems to have gotten things on the right track, but because it’s supposed to be full of new missions, strikes, and quests—more things to do in a game that seriously lacks things to do. And now we find out one of those quests is locked in a damn energy drink?
This disheartening news comes during a week when much of the Destiny community is beyond furious with Bungie and Activision for how they’ve treated and communicated with veteran players. It’s hard not to be even more pissed about this one, though. We’re not talking about some cosmetic emotes or snarky developer quotes—this is an actual quest in the game that you’ll need to go out and buy an energy drink to play. It’s worse than DLC.
Meanwhile, here is an ACTUAL QUOTE from an ACTUAL PRESS RELEASE:
You can reach the author of this post at jason@kotaku.com or on Twitter at @jasonschreier.