Almost everyone has found himself or herself thinking at some point, "Life is unfair. Why can't I get a break?"
It's normal to feel that way. We only stop thinking and saying, "Life is unfair!" when we realize that we control most of what happens to us in our lives.
The minute we make any person, institution, or circumstance more powerful than we are, we lose. That's why saying or thinking, "Life is unfair!" or "My boss is a jerk!" or any other sentiment that gives away your power is a losing strategy.
We all feel down at times and we all get upset about our situations. We can breathe through those upset feelings and ask the question, "OK, so my situation isn't so great right now -- what can I do about it? Maybe my current job stinks, but what is still within my control?"
You control everything that's important in your life:
• You control your thoughts.
• You are in charge of your time. If you hate your job, you can start looking for a new job.
• You control your body and its actions. If there are no good career opportunities where you live right now, you can move. It might not be easy, but you can pull it off if it's important to you.
• You get to design your future. You aren't shackled to your job or your current situation. You can make changes.
• You are the only person who gets to decide what your talents are worth.
• You are in control of your dreams and aspirations. Don't let anyone else decide your future!
You may be limiting yourself without even knowing it -- many people do!
They fall under the spell of toxic messages they've heard or read, like these:
1. If you don't have a college degree, forget about having a fulfilling career. (That's nonsense!)
2. If you don't have a technical or highly-specialized skill set, you won't be able to earn much money. (Ridiculous!)
3. Only people who come from wealthy families can be successful in the business world. (Garbage!)
4. If you don't find a good job early in your career, you're toast. (That's absurd!)
5. All employers discriminate against people over age fifty, so if you reach age 50 without a good job, you're out of luck. (Baloney!)
These ideas are false, but they have one silver lining.
When you fall under the spell of one or more of these false ideas, you can stop thinking about your career. You can allow yourself to become a victim of circumstance. That can feel comforting at times.
If there is an evil, shadowy foe blocking your way and that foe is more powerful than you are, then you are off the hook!
You can blame the evil foe for your problems and stop feeling as though you are the star of your movie. You can tell yourself and your friends, "I'm over 50, so my job prospects are very limited. Why should I try to get a good job when the deck is stacked against me?"
You can say, "I don't have a college degree, so employers won't hire me -- they're idiots!" You can hide behind the obstacle that you created for yourself.
Almost everyone has felt like a victim at some point.
When we feel unequal to whatever task Mother Nature has assigned to us, we look around for someone to blame. Anybody can play the part of the villain in our movie -- an ex-boss, an ex-girlfriend or just Society in general.
We can blame our less-than-perfect upbringing for our problems, or the fact that we live in a small town instead of a big city. There are potential bad guys everywhere we look!
Here are 10 ways you're probably limiting yourself and your own possibilities without realizing it.
1. You limit yourself when you don't set a vision for your life. You might think, "Why set a lofty vision? I probably won't reach it even if I try." The only sure way to fail to realize your vision is not to create your vision in the first place!
2. You limit yourself when you don't take steps to change your situation. Any step forward is a good thing. Rewriting your resume is an important step. Writing in a journal is another one. If you're not sure what to do first, pick any action step you like. Think about your future and imagine the life you'd be living if you had complete control over your situation (because you do)!
3. You limit yourself when you accept your current situation because you believe you have no power to change it.
4. You limit yourself when you let other people (a boss, your parents, or anyone else) tell you what your priorities should be.
5. You limit yourself when you throw up your hands and say, "What's the point of trying to change things? If I save some money, something will break in my car. If I get promoted, I'll just have to work more hours. I can't get ahead, period."
6. You limit yourself when you let other people tell you what you're good at or what your talents are worth.
7. You limit yourself when you focus on your (perceived) shortcomings instead of your strengths.
8. You limit yourself when you tell yourself, "I can't."
9. You limit yourself when you tell yourself or other people why you don't have the life and career you want, instead of going after those things.
10. You limit yourself when you settle for less than you deserve.
You are alive right now. You can make changes in your life starting this very minute.
You can aspire to whatever you want, but you have to do more than aspire -- you have to take action! The first step is the hardest, and it's not even hard. The first step is to realize that you're driving your own life and career. No one else calls the shots -- only you.
Here in the U.S. it's a long weekend. How can you use some of this weekend time to zero in on your goals and start working to reach them? What project would be more deserving of your time and energy than that?
