Would you let your ATF know ure planning on stopping, or would you just go cold turkey on her and never contact her again?  
What are the most common reasons in your opinion that would be an automatic trigger to stop hobbying?

I have two ATFs and they happen to know each other very well.  They are already aware that I will be moving on shortly.

Before I go, they are aware that the three of us will be spending some quality time together one last time.

1. Heart attack.  
2. Bankruptcy.  
3. Wife eruption.  
4. STD
5. Crisis of conscience.  

Okay, forget about the last one.

My intentions are I am done with the hobby not with the boards as I find the boards therapeutic through writing. Even when I wasn't hobbying I was on the boards. I have only had one session in the last ten weeks. My P4 account was shut down off all the other sites were cancelled.  I told my main provider as far as I'm concerned I'm done but she knew I hit a cross roads with this and that I want more out of life. I'm seeing N Grey when she gets to NY in June and Lauren Avery as they both sparked my interest. I have no intentions of reaching out to anyone else. I will also book with Pollie because she just seemed like someone I need to meet but it all comes down to timing the money is there when I'm ready. You can never say never with anything in life. Of course I talked to the people in this world that I have some sort of relationship with. The trigger with me was wanting to know if paying for sex was going to fix my issues of loss and denial about my reality. It didn't however the therapist and everyone around me sees the progress I have made in the last ten months. I have been working on me and finding my happy place it's not in this altered world but it's a day by day thing with me. I still wear my heart on my sleeve but for the first time in awhile life is good again.  

 

or something to go on , to let her know you're backing out of the game.
I hate thinking someone is dead.

"Common reasons"  are financial situation changed, not as much free time, wife has quit her job and is watching you more.

How I would let her know is the question.  Opinion poll:  Which of the following would be the best way to let her know?

Will you marry me?

Bitch, I'm sick of you!

I'm moving to Brazil.

I think you gave me a rash.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm breaking up with you.

My...(gasp)chest...(choke)...hurts...call...9...1................................................................................................................

END OF MESSAGE

... I've retired... and returned.  Twice.  Each time, I let my ATF know.  And I stayed in contact with her during my "retirements" because she's also a friend.  

I don't know that I have an "automatic trigger" to stop hobbying.  It's not that simple. Although I can envision a few events that, should they happen, would probably put me into permanent retirement. They are all rather unpleasant to think about though... eg a sudden, serious health issue or disability.

You say "I am done with the hobby" but you plan to see two or three women in the coming weeks.  And after that, who knows.  That's got to be the oddest version of retirement I've ever heard of.  But you've made "progress," so I guess it's AOK.
PS: You'll love Pollie.

If I had a single ATF - meaning someone I see on a regular (monthly/weekly) basis - I probably would not just call her and tell her that I am done.  I would cancel the date if I had one set up.  In that case, I would probably tell her I was taking a break - and that I would call her at some point to reschedule - but that it might be a while.  This is theoretical since I don't have such an arrangement.

The only "automatic trigger" for me would be loss of money to do this with.  Unless you are completely irresponsible, there are more important things in life - in fact, most things are.  This is a luxury. If you need to cut back - well then, this is an obvious place to cut back.

If someone came into my life that I fell in love with and I became intimate with them - I could see quitting.  But I don't see that as a likely event, nor would I consider that an "automatic trigger"

Very easy to handle.  When I stopped shopping at Nordstroms and moved my business to Bloomingdales I sent Nordstroms a very nice gift card thanking them for providing such a great service for many years and wishing them the best.  Did the same when I dumped United for American.

This is a trick question.

Let's assume that I had a ATF, to me that would mean I had a regular relationship. So if I was planning on ending it, I would let her know. The only exception would be if I was incapacitated and incapable of doing so.  

There are several reasons one would stop playing in this world. Death or serious injury, loss of income, entering into a committed relationship, etc.

lol
he retired once from the hobby  

Do you like ribs that really aren't ribs?  Is pollie really Donald?

Oh fuck it! Who am I kidding?  

Why would I quit perfect????

I guess some day, I'll quit. Just prior to them putting my pine box in the kiln

If they aren't in NY until June 13th how can I see them? It's not like i am going out looking for people to see. I know the two or three people left to be seen. Pollie will be seen by the end of the month. I have been busy dealing with my sisters wedding and getting everything ready for Memorial Weekend Pool Party. I was seeing three girls a week when I started. Glad you are so worried about me Mr State Farm. Enjoy your day.

No I like Smash Burger.  

Yes because I know you will ask Rox is doing a 2nd family wedding with me.

Zak

share with me their thoughts and reasons for no longer partaking. However, I am still seeing one of them quite regularly. The other two aren't local and still remain excellent friends of mine. As a woman's take here, it's the only right thing to do as a gentleman. Those who seemingly "disappear" but you hear they actually didn't leave this world but were just lying I personally have zero tolerance for. And yes, it happens and is probably the most cowardly move here. Just because your a "hobbyist" doesn't give you the right to act like an asshat. Just sayin'

-- Modified on 5/20/2016 5:20:33 PM

Makes me wonder why you put up the post.  Just felt like sharing, I guess?

She's a hot-as-hell gal from the NYC area who is the best Greek Isles tour guide I've ever met.
The McRibs thing is an in joke.  I can't give away why some may feel it's funny.  At least not in public.

And I really wish you hadn't reminded me of what a complete dope you are.

to answer your first question. To me, letting someone know I am quitting would be a matter of courtesy and not one of necessity. Everyone will have a different idea of proper courtesy and courtesy may vary depending upon the nature of the relationship between friends.

For myself, there are several women I've seen who I keep in touch with and would let them know I was leaving the hobby - "I'm moving onto another part of my life, the hobby is behind me, thank you for sharing some great times and for being such a great companion to me....".  Others, no, I would not reach out to.  

As far as an "automatic trigger" goes... no, I don't see one. I see only a choice, and a choice to return if desired. Aren't those choices always before us

no point having last encounters, sending out farewell notes etc...just like ripping a bandage and throwing it in the garbage, I will be rip my burner phones, emails, website logins etc and then walk away in the sunset...

the bigger questing is "If?"

It will take huge courage and mental resolution for someone to stop pay for play behavior. They do not owe anyone they are paying to fuck any reasons or farewell notes. If they do, good for them, if not, good for them - its their choice.  

And the same is true for escorts, in the world of paying for sex - no one owes no one...

But at the end of the day we are all still human beings. On both sides. Neither of us are fuck bots. So do just that...treat each other as a human being. Doesn't seem like a complicated concept to me. The problem I have is that some here believe that because of the nature of the business it absolves this kind of behavior...when frankly it just doesn't.  

We can all find excuses until we are blue in the face. Still doesn't grant either party the respect each deserves. At least for some here. Certainly not all.

Just ask him the last time he had a date lol


-- Modified on 5/20/2016 7:12:49 PM

People are more willing to part with their Benjamin's than they are with common courtesy and respect.
 At the end of the day those that have shown courtesy and respect are the richer souls!

If I got into a serious relationship with a civie, I would quit the hobby (unless she was cool with it). But I'd be back if we ever broke up.

If so, you are the only one.

Jake. It's only an expression. And on a fuck board nonetheless. You really need to find more to do with your time instead of wasting it on here day in and day out. Don't you see you're life passing you by?

Btw, are you retired?

-- Modified on 5/20/2016 8:07:24 PM

and that's a scary concept in and of itself, isn't it?

Money over matter. Always. (I guess)

As for life passing anyone by, what are you doing here on such a lovely evening?  No dates?

Unfortunately it has become pervasive in all areas of today's society. Demographics do not apply.

I recall one of the earliest lessons I was taught. " It takes less effort to be nice than it does to be rude or discourteous."  
 I was blessed with a mentor who showed me by example to leave any space I entered a better place for having been there. Now that is a lesson!
 No advice or wisdom here but I do say "thank you" because you have done the above.

END OF MESSAGE

  My intentions are..I am done with drinking. But I'll have some Tequila shots this weekend...and next week I'm throwing a kegger at my place.   BTW, I'm drinking a cheap merlot while writing this.  But otherwise I'm done.  

  I'm glad you're getting some therapy.  That's the one bright spot in your bizarre post.  --

Not all of us can be as wise as those who speak the words on here day in day out.  

As far me, it's very rare I date on the weekend unless a special circumstance arises.  
And yes it's a beautiful evening. Thanks for asking. What a great day too...hope you can say the same...

-- Modified on 5/20/2016 10:22:50 PM

Even expensive Merlot is kind of a cliche.  I recommend Vodka.  Try Sobieski.  It's not expensive and is really quite good.  As for Zak, he's beyond hope.

You need new glasses.
And it was a great day.

know that I could no longer see her because of whatever reason.  Currently I see my favorite every week and have no plans of stopping.  If it came to where I had to stop seeing her, I would never do an unprofessional act of going cold turkey.

 If Zak brings a hooker to another family wedding, then I give up. Is the hooker going to be in the family wedding pix  (bride & groom, mom & dad,  siblings with spouses, ZAK & HOOKER).  It sounds like a Judd Apatow film.  Seth Rogen could play Zak.  I don't know who to cast as the hooker.  Maybe Beyonce.  

 Reading this board makes me want to drink.  --z

a large number of people think money trumps all sorts of other behaviors and social lubricants (no pun intended, i mean things like courtesy and smiles and positive attitudes; things that get you through social interactions easier than a snarl or snark or curse word).

but nowadays, as you say, people think money excuses a lot of things, including bad behavior.

And, yes, your imaginary picture is NOT optimal. It sounds more like a John Waters film.
Start drinking now. Heavily.
Zak is just a tool.

when you don't have any to begin with. Common courtesy, like common sense, isn't all that common. Don't start me on respect.

if you're on US60 between Phoenix and Las Angeles and you're at the Kofa Café, you're beyond Hope. Unfortunately the sign that apprises you of that fact says "Your now beyond Hope"

*to keep everything on topic, I doubt you could get an outcall to Hope.

would I stop paying hookers to fuck me? What is YOUR insight?

Cancer or some other terminal illness I would let her in on how much time I might have left. But if I just drop dead unexpectedly, I don't see how I could give advance warning. Either way, I'm not getting out while I'm still breathing.

-- Modified on 5/20/2016 9:52:56 PM

END OF MESSAGE

I would advise those ladies I see on an ongoing basis, privately, as common courtesy requires.  I would not state it publicly, though...just fade away.

This is my theoretical exit plan, though there hasn't or isn't any reason to implement at this time.

preoccupied with my existence here lol

I feel special

PS. Maybe you and Jake should have lunch together. Insurance and storms go well together...or so I hear lol

Then what in pray tell are you?

I develop true friendships with my ATFs...the gents who really do come to spend time with me very regularly.  It is painful when they just disappear...I worry about them and wonder if they have had an emergency in their life medically or personally.  I know there are boundaries.  The boundaries are healthy and should be respected, but I appreciate the men/couples who have the class and emotional depth to say good bye whether that is for now or forever.  I have had wonderful hello sessions...and profound good bye ones too.  Maturity is and always will be sexy!!!

That was sarcasm. What next? "I know you are but what am I?"  LOL!  And this from a woman north of 50.

It won't be long now.....
I wonder what her next handle will be?

END OF MESSAGE

  'ATF' means different things to different people.  My former ATF became my quasi SB.  She dropped off P411 and we saw each other on a regular basis.  She spent a lot of OTC time with me.  I still consider this my first 'arrangement'.    Given this scenario, I felt obligated to let her know when it was ending, and I did.    

 But let's tweak the scenario: let's say I hookup with a provider on a regular basis.  I see her more than anyone else.  But there's no OTC time on her part, no additional gifts on my part.  She's still on P411 & seeing other clients.  You could call her my ATF, but its strictly P4P from beginning to end, cash for time.  If I decide not to see her anymore, then I don't owe her any explanation.  She's treating me as just another client.  So i'll treat her just like any other provider.   --z

Finally some sense after a gazillion posts...

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

I am sure "junior" has one of his own to share with us.

Sometimes, he does both at the same time, but in this case he made perfect sense without being a dick about it.

BTW I am not criticizing him for his dickish behavior, I am well aware about living in glass houses and such.

END OF MESSAGE

Coming from a man north of 70

I am young, handsome and well dressed

GaGambler sometimes calls Zak scoed JR for what ever reason. I too am semi retired.

END OF MESSAGE

I can bring in loads of courtesy and respect in a parcel as well, any takers? I will even bring you flowers and Chinese takeout...I will call and let you know that I am available anytime you would like to have more courtesy and respect in exchange for bbbj...

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

ut it is what it is. Some on this board haven't had a new thought in a while. Others like GaGambler seems preoccupied  with things I have shared. There posts provide little new content and are nothing but attack posts using the same redundant attacks that may have been funny when first used month if now years ago but have grown stale with time. Sad really but let us pretend they are still funny. I think it is all they have to look forward to. After all GaGambler's whole like appears to be on this board, posting on every thread almost doubling the next highest poster. Add to that he is in the top posters on many other boards well it is plain this is his life. Let him think he is still funny and relevant. He needs it. Still if one must post like a mad man and be an asshole in the majority of ones posts, one should at least try to come up with something new every once in a while.

I don't owe any other business owner any kind of explanation when moving on, why should I owe all the hookers I see an explanation if I choose not to see them when doing the same?

Now if I have more than a hooker/john relationship with a woman, that's a different story, but if its "Just business" I don't owe her any more an explanation than I would a favorite bartender if I up and decided to quit drinking some day. Of course in my case, quitting either drinking or fucking is a rather remote possibility. lol

I only hobby when I travel, so I can be quite infrequent.   After an extended gap, my CF (current favorite, as I don't really believe in the ATF concept) sent me a text wondering how I was doing.  The next time we met, the subject came up, and she mentioned that in 'this world', that if something bad happens, then she never gets to know and is left wondering.  I could tell that this bothered her.  

We have since gotten to the point where this feels like quite a bit more than the standard client-provider relationship.  If I ever need to stop, I will absolutely tell her.  It would not feel right just going dark on her.

That's sweet

Death is the first reason to come to mind.

Ok, death is the only reason that comes to mind. lol

Or even fun.  Honestly, I don't think you have any idea what fun, or funny, is.  Sorry.

So I am open to the truth of the statement. At least I realize my humor fails to translate to posts well, and have given it up.

It's the fact that you are not only "unfunny" yourself, but that you constantly have to piss on the parades of others. There can be a dozen of us laughing, joking, just generally having a good time in our usual politically incorrect way, and then here comes Scoed with a giant bucket of cold water to throw on us.

Just lighten up Francis, and we might start laughing with you instead of at you.

Picture TER as a giant locker room with jokesters like me, Jake and dozens of other engaged in a little harmless towel snapping. You are the guy that comes along and starts lecturing us on the dangers of towel snapping, how it's misplaced aggression and that we should all seek counseling. I mean honestly WTF!!!???

Wondering if I should just lie down for awhile until that feeling goes away.

END OF MESSAGE

In this post I only posted to clarify Jakes post given I haven't posted about McRibs in years. Most posters forget years old posts. Fact is I no longer even eat fast food and haven't had a McRib in years. I haven't eaten at McDonald's in over a year. But I don't mind Jake in the least.  

You I find to be a self-righteous bore. Slinging the same crap over and over again once you find it got under someone's skin. You brought up my "story" more than I have in the last few months then I have in the last year. You pissed me off, and now you won't let it go. Your an ass, but what is worse your a bore when being one.

And you don't limit it to the dozen other towel snappers. You go find someone hurting and slap them, over and over again. I should ask you WTF? Joking amongst friends, cool, attacking those who aren't in a great place as you do, not cool. In fact it is called being a bully. Most of your posts are negative so who is really throwing cold water here?  

 
Laugh at me all you wish. But please look in the mirror when talking about negative people being an ass and ruining people's fun.

For the record I am neither laughing at you or with you. Your little more than a bore.

You don't laugh at all, quite frankly you suck all the joy out of the room by making people feel bad about making a joke. The only joy you bring to a room is by leaving it. Someone once asked if you had your sense of humor surgically removed, I am of the opinion you were simply born without a sense of humor in the first place.

So maybe I wasn't born with that sick harmful sense of humor like you. Thank god. I may very well may suck the joy out of the room from to bit bullies like you. Good. I at least don't do so at the expense of others unlike some well besides small minded bullies that is. And if I make someone feel bad because of a joke, odds are the joke is hurting someone else. True I don't tolerate bullies easily. Which by the way is a good thing. Small minds see humor in the misery of others.

We are on a fuck board, guys are going to talk that way, just like they do in a locker room only this is a coed locker room. You are the one guy out of thousands who would take not only take offense, but jump right in the middle of a dozen different guys (and girls), most of them you call friends and start berating them over joking about being raped by a hot chick. THAT is what I call sucking the joy out of a room, even your good friends were left shaking their heads over that one.

Most "normal" guys don't see any misery at all at of being raped by a hottie. It's a joke Francis. This is a fuck board, not a church social.

is just because you pay us  doesn't mean we don't like you. I will speak for myself actually because I am quite sure there are ladies who are heartless.  There is even one guy that I see who I like a whole lot.  But, factually he's not mine to keep so the monetary arrangement stands.  That is the only reason it stands. Not all of us have a revolving door. Not all of us are heartless bitches. You can't know what we are thinking.  I personally think you're a dick  but I often even say that with a little bit of love attached to it and I don't even know you. Maybe it's me because I've been in this for so long but I genuinely gaf about my regular friends.

I bet you half of my actual "friends" are hookers,  not just hookers I pay to fuck, but simply friends I have made over the years, many of them right here on TER. and you're damn right I would tell them if I were going to make an exit.

Where we seem to disagree is that any john OWES any hooker where they have a strictly business relationship an explanation if he decides to move on. Hookers move on all the time, leaving love sick johns in their wake, making ISO posts for months or even years after they have retired. Those women didn't OWE those johns a word of explanation either. If they wanted people to know, they would have told them. Sometimes people imagine a relationship is a LOT more than it actually is

If it is willing it isn't rape period. If it isn't consensual losing power over one own body is extremely damaging regardless of sex. Look it up if you don't believe me. Looks has nothing to do with it. And if you don't think throwing my rape at me when I didn't even bring it up isn't bullying you are amazingly ignorant.

But I wasn't talking about that thread. If that was the only case or if you only went after me I wouldn't have a point. But you thee top poster on this site by far, are on the attack constantly with nearly anyone in a bad place. That makes you a bully. And give you lack any new material makes combined with your diarrhea of the keyboard makes you a bore.  

The vast majority of posters don't bully like you do. Your the worse offender on this board. More people have called you an ass then any other poster. To paraphrase you, If one person calls you something something don't worry about it, but if everyone calls you it then look at yourself as it is likely true. By all accounts you are an asshole. An asshole is another word for bully. You are a useless bully.

I rather be a humorless fuck than a small man laughing at causing unwanted pain to get my laughs, causing real damage in my wake, like you. Fuck, you have told multiple people to kill themselves, people in a bad place. You are sicking.  

Look at your post. You just said it is OK to strip a man of control of his body if someone thinks your a hot woman. It is OK to rape if it is if sone one thints your hother and a woman. But laugh at rape, if that does it for you. Laugh at suicide if that is where you get your jollies. That sir is who and what you are. I can link to all of it. You even have to be drunk to tolerate yourself

Thank you for proving my point beyond a shadow of a doubt.  

Guys laugh about being "raped" by a beautiful woman all the time. Like the GEICO commercial says, "it's what we do" (My apologies to Jake for plugging the competition" You are the only one throwing cold water on a topic that 99.9% of guys and girls find amusing. Why must you take things so literally? It's a fucking joke already.

As for Deb, thanks for reminding me. That thread alone will put me in the TER hall of fame all by itself as one of the greatest train wreck threads in history. lol

but where it comes to new material, I have plenty of new material where it comes to others, but sadly all I have to work with where it comes to you are the "old reliables" as you haven't given me anything new to work with due to your limited amount of postings in the last couple of years, but keep posting and I am sure you will give me plenty of new material. In the meantime, I'll stick with the "tried and true"

Thanks again for reminding me about Deb, I wonder if she's done with that rope I leant her? Anyone seen or heard from her lately? roflmfao

You're right  and I wouldn't even care to know

So no it was not a joke. It was a crime. Both the cops, and the DA agreed as felony charges was filed on at least one perp, and the other had a warrant for her arrest. So sexual battery is a joke? That sir is sick. A man's right to his body was literally violated and it was a joke. You sir prove my point.  

And you telling someone with clear mental issues to hang herself is funny? I rest my case. By the way she wasn't the only one you urged to kill themselves. And we are far from the only ones you go after. More of you posts are redundant attacks. You even go after newbies who mistakenly post on this board instead of the newbie board.

So I agree I don't find real suffering funny and do dump water on those who do. I don't find bullies amusing in the least. I don't post often anymore as it is the same shit over and over again. New blood is often driven away by the likes of you. Besides why arm a bully who seems to be obsessed with my rape? Bringing it up more than I have. You won't even face the truth of what you are. I own my faults. You sir are a coward. All bullies are.

You pull this kind of crap anytime the cool kids are snapping towels at each other.

As for Newbies, I have literally thousands of helpful posts I've made helping out the newbs, both here and on the Newbie board, OTOH I have no problem smacking down trolls pretending to be newbs or newbies who want to argue instead of listen, but you would be hard pressed to find another poster who has been more helpful to the newbies than me.  I bet if we were to compare helpful posts, I've "out helped" you by at least a 50-1 margin

At least I've never urged you to go kill yourself, truth be told I had serious concerns, concerns serious enough that I shared them with others that someday you might go postal. Killing yourself is one thing, taking innocents with you is quite a different matter. I have since been convinced that you are only dangerous to our chances of having a good time if you are ever allowed to have anything to do about it. Have you EVER just let loose and had some fun? By your own admission you have even taken the fun out of fucking hookers? My God man, do you also spend every Christmas telling five year olds that there is  no Santa Claus?

But you have also attacked people 1000-1 over me. In fact you out post me 300-1. You attack far more than you help by a huge margin. But if we compare percentages far higher percentage of my posts are an attempt to help. I have a life and can't compare to the raw volume of redundant blather put out by you.  

And true you never told me to end it. Want a medal for that?  

And do I ever just have fun? Well yes, but my fun doesn't involve the unhappiness of others. I love hiking and camping. I enjoy helping others and do quite a bit of service as I find it fun. Thing is my idea of fun doesn't include making others feel like crap or losing control to a booze bottle. And that is all you sir seem to enjoy, well that and sex. Your not happy unless you piss someone off

Ask yourself an honest question, how often do I seem genuinely unhappy or angry? Now ask yourself the same question regarding yourself?

I don't have to piss someone off to be happy, but playing with people who take themselves too seriously is a pleasurable pastime of mine. Politically correct, uber sensitive and just plain stupid people are just so much fun to fuck with, and yes that means you.

Thanks for playing,

I will give you the final word as this branch is starting to run over to the "Right side" of the page which means if we don't end it, Admin will.

it's been fun though, we have to do it again someday, but please remember to breathe. I don't want you getting all worked up and having a stroke while you pound at your keyboard in anger.lol