The 12 Words Salespeople Use in Emails That Are Killing Their Deals (And How to Replace Them)

Social Media has seen an unprecedented adoption by consumers. For businesses, however, email remains the most dominant form of communication.

As per Boomerang’s analysis of 5 million emails, an average user spends 2.5 hours tending to emails every day, and by the end of 2017, 132 billion business emails are estimated to be sent and received per day.

If you’re a business owner, the data indicates the need for your emails to be direct and crisp.

Even if you use just one spam triggering word in your subject line, you've ensured that your email will skip the recipients’ inbox and land directly in the SPAM box.

So every word in your message must be carefully chosen to add meaning, and also not cause complete destruction of your efforts.

Here are 12 words that you need to avoid at all costs while writing.

Plus we included replacements that are better :)

1. Hey/Hello there

Sales trainer Babette Ten Haken believes that both “hey” and “hello there” are generic salutations.

They may even come across as disrespectful in many professional contexts and are bad business etiquette. Don’t hamper your brand with such casual language in your business endeavors.

Alternative: It’s okay even if you skip the salutation or directly address the person by their name followed by a comma.

2. Honestly/Literally

If you start your sentences with phrases like “I honestly feel…”, then you come out as insincere. It’s a weak word that can even make you sound  unconfident.

If you’re writing an email, it should be obvious that you’re being honest. You don’t need to announce it.

Alternative: Get direct to the point and tell the truth. Your prospects will respect you for saving their time by skipping the fluff.

3. Really/Very

These two overused words devoid your writing of its power. They don’t add any value to your message and make the reading more painful for your prospect. Editing them out will make your emails shorter, more precise and easier to understand.

Alternative: Eliminate these modifier words and find a word that includes “very” or “really” already in its meaning. Use thesaurus.com if your vocabulary is limited.

Example: “antiquated” instead of “really old.”

4. Just

You have probably noticed an increase in the usage of this word in emails. The intention is to soften a request. Or when delegating orders - to not come across as too harsh.

For instance, “Just following up on my call...”

But ‘just’ makes your message unclear. Don’t let it rob your credibility and undermine your actions.

Alternative: Cut it out. It won’t make a difference to your message.

5. Things/Stuff

Remember how I told you an average email user is bombarded with irrelevant messages every day?

These two lazy words demand extra attention and energy from your prospect. And if you’re vague, the additional burden will only result in your email getting trashed immediately.

Also, the informality of these words does not suit a business environment.

Alternative: You can use specific words like issues/principles/reasons depending on the context.

6. But

Benjen Stark from GOT had got it right - “Nothing someone says before the word ‘but’ really counts.”

The negative conjunction mostly comes across as a warm-up for bad news that lies ahead. Or a soft way of discounting your prospect’s idea.

Alternative: Don’t undermine your message’s intent. You can substitute the word “but” with “and”. Or completely get rid of it like Carolyn from Buffer.

7. Utilize/ROI/Innovative

Corporate jargon isn’t going to impress your prospect. The extra syllables in ‘utilize’ draw attention, and cause your prospect to become distracted, just as I suspect you got, looking at the word ‘utilize.’

So there’s little use of highlighting the word in a sentence.

Similarly, ROI and Innovative are also buzzwords that add unnecessary abstraction. ROI is the gross profit that your business makes on an investment. And innovative is an overused marketing word that’s only used to sell a product.

Stick with simpler and more specific options below.

Alternative: Use will always fit sentences where you’ve put utilize.

And don’t make empty noises about your product being innovative and giving a great ROI. Talk numbers and data about the specific results your previous clients have derived from it.

8. ASAP/Quickly

These are vague deadlines that are meant to convey urgency in a polite way. You’ll sometimes even see these words along with the word ‘please.’ For instance - “Please send me the article ASAP...”

The problem is that if the prospect gets four such ASAP emails, he does not know the most urgent one. Isn’t it difficult to prioritize such vague requests?  

In his book Rework, Jason Fried calls ASAP poison.

Similarly the word ‘quickly’ is also nonspecific and may leave your email’s recipient confused.

Alternative: Leave no room for interpretation. Get crystal clear with the deadline by explicitly specifying the exact time. Like - “Please send me the article by Monday 6 PM”.

9. Me/I

Remember how your customers think…

They are focused on themselves and only care about ‘what's in it for them’.

So if you’re pitching your product, you need to get to the specific benefits for the customer -- not talk about your product.

Even in internal company communication, you need to get rid of these two words. They focus on you and your contributions. Rather talk about how your collective teamwork contributes to the mission of your company.

Alternative: You and your are powerful substitutes. Indeed, a Yale study named ‘you’ the most influential word in English. In internal communications, you can also use our, we and us.

10. Irrelevant Emojis

Emojis are the fastest growing language in the history of the UK. They make your communication more friendly and expressive. A formal business email with plain text may seem cold and unfriendly.

40% of office workers say that, due to stress, they don’t have time to be civil in the workplace. So you can :) your co-worker occasionally to maintain a cheerful work environment.

Image source: https://pixabay.com/en/smarties-smiley-emoticon-face-991229/

But if you’re considering using emojis in client communication, definitely don't use them when you’re sending a proposal to a prospect or if you want to be taken seriously.

Alternative: 76% of American workers use emoticons at work. So sprinkle them occasionally in your positive messages to coworkers or clients you have a relationship with.

Or use them on your about me page as a way to showcase your personality that’s one layer deeper than your email.

11. Sorry

You might be apologizing in situations that don’t merit it. Like when you have a differing opinion in an email discussion. Or even when you have missed a point.

‘Sorry’ oozes low confidence. And it’s especially used by women at the workplace.

Image Credits: http://grey.com/global/work/key/new-york-pantene-sorry-not-sorry/id/5634/

Pantene even launched a video titled “Not Sorry” - it encouraged women to stop with unnecessary apologies at the workplace.

Alternative: Directly state your point skipping the word ‘sorry’ altogether. Don’t let your prospect doubt your abilities.

If you’ve messed up, you can use “I apologize.” It carries more weight and comes across as genuine. You can also add a sentence on how you plan to not repeat the same mistake again in the future.

12. Noted

Suppose Mark (your dedicated employee) enthusiastically plans your next marketing campaign. Then mail you the campaign details - right down to how you’ll implement it at every step.

You’re happy with the Mark’s effort. But your mail reply is a single word - “Noted”.

Ah! You’ve left room for Mark to draw his conclusions. He can assume you’re happy. But it might also mean that you’re disappointed.

If your style of communication isn’t known to Mark, then the negative scenario is more likely.  Just like the mail encounter between a consultant and a client below.

Image Source: http://www.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304704504579433233994478174

Alternative: Instead of negative or neutral phrases, stick with using positive ones. Like in the above scenario, you could have used “Thank you.”

If you receive a huge volume of emails and prefer short responses, then you can specify this in your signature. Like Neil Patel. Your email recipients will understand the issue and respect your time.

2 Tools to help you send effective emails

1. Just not sorry - This Gmail plugin ensures that you don’t undermine your message. It points out the self-deprecating words in your email and helps you communicate assertively.
2. HemingwayApp - The app checks grammar and points out unnecessary words that blur your message. It’ll also point out long and complicated sentences that need fixing to tighten up your prose.

Conclusion

You cannot afford to lose your credibility with unspecific and fluffy emails. Respect your recipient's time by being direct and editing every unnecessary word out of your message. The 12 words and 2 tools I listed will help in delivering your message effectively.

What other words are blowing up your deal? Share with us your replacement words in the comments.