Dear Liz,
I am very confused about my work situation. My boss "Nina" tells me at least once a month how much she relies on me. She can see that I am very grateful for her praise, I guess, and I do appreciate her taking the time to thank me for my work. Maybe I am too needy for approval.
Apart from Nina's verbal thanks I get almost nothing from my job.
Nina knows I am qualified to do more responsible work than I'm doing now. She uses me as a 'floater' because I can back up anyone in our department since I've been here so long. When someone is out of the office Nina doesn't hesitate to turn to me to handle their desk, but after three years I'm still stuck in an entry-level job.
My pay is horrible, even for the lowly job I have. Everything you say that people need to succeed -- visibility into the company's future plans, a road map for personal growth, managerial support, and so on -- I don't get at all. I don't have a regular one-on-one meeting with Nina. I don't go to a department staff meeting, either.
I just come in to work, go to my desk, do my work and go home unless Nina needs something special from me.
My brain says I should start looking for a new job outside the company but my heart clings to the fact that Nina always tells me how essential to the department I am. Can I believe her? Am I being taken advantage of?
Thanks,
Ivy
Dear Ivy,
Change is hard, and because we don't like to make changes we cling to what we know even when it doesn't serve us anymore.
Nina is no dummy. It's easy for her to tell you once or twice a month how essential to the department you are. Talk is cheap!
It would take more time and attention for Nina to focus on you and your career plans and to create that road map for success that you mentioned.
It would use up a few of her budget dollars for her to pay you what you're worth.
If she hasn't had time to talk with you about your progress and your goals in three whole years, and if she isn't paying you what the market dictates, then Nina does not deserve your talents anymore.
Here are the ten loudest messages your boss sends you. None of them are messages that your boss sends you by speaking to you. Are you picking up on the messages that don't come through Nina's words, but through her actions instead?
The Ten Loudest Messages Your Boss Is Sending You
1. Your job title is a message about how highly your boss values your talents. If your title is in sync with your responsibilities, then your boss values you enough to give you a title that reflects your contribution. If not, that's a bad sign.
2. Your access to your manager when you need her tells you two things: a) the degree to which she values your time and b) the percentage of your boss's brain that is taken up with your role and its impact. If you aren't getting enough access to your boss, s/he doesn't value your contribution.
3. Your participation in important and high-profile projects is a message from your boss about your importance to her team. If you're as involved in the action as you want to be, then you are a key player on her squad. If not, your secondary or tertiary status is clear.
4. Your visibility into your team's and organization's priorities and challenges is another message. High visibility means you are a critical team member. Low visibility means the opposite.
5. Nina's willingness to give you the resources you need sends a very loud message. If she is your staunch supporter, then it's obvious that your interests are intertwined. If you have to fight to get the resources you need to do the job you were hired for, you're working way too hard!
6. Your boss's sponsorship for your ideas is a loud message. No sponsorship means you don't rate in her world.
7. Nina's concern for your obligations outside of work speaks volumes. If you have no problem getting a personal day when you need it, that suggests that Nina knows what you contribute to her success. If not, why waste your time trying to get her to notice your good work?
8. Your boss's response time to emails and voice mails is another telltale sign of your value to her. If you have to write two or three times or physically stop Nina in the hallway to get an answer, she can praise you up and down but you know the truth: your priorities are the last things on her mind.
9. If you get exciting projects that are fun to work on, your boss values you. If you don't, the signs are clear: you are a warm body to your manager, no matter how sweetly she sings your praises.
10. The loudest message your manager sends you is the one in your paycheck every payday. Money talks. In the business world, we pay for things we value. If Nina isn't paying you what your talents are worth, then she isn't worried about losing you.
By all means, get your stealth job search going. Let no fake loyalty from Nina stand in your way.
You deserve better than her wan support for your goals, and there's only one way to get what you deserve -- to go after it!
Yours,
Liz
