A Yelp Employee's Letter to the CEO Gets Her Fired: A Lesson in Emotional Intelligence

"If you haven't heard, this post entitled 'An Open Letter to My CEO' went viral over the weekend on Medium.

Talia Jane, a 25-year-old employee of Yelp/Eat24, wrote the letter to Yelp CEO Jeremy Stoppelman to tell her story--a story that includes 'crying in the bathtub every week' because of hunger pains and taking a $6 handout from a CVS employee that overheard her conversation about not knowing how she would get to work.

And then, Talia got fired."

That's the intro to my column this morning on Inc.com (which you can read in full here.) It's a fascinating case study of how social media is changing the modern day world of work.

One thing hasn't changed, though: the role emotional intelligence (EQ) plays in the world of business. EQ involves the ability to recognize and understand your emotions, and to use that information to guide decision making. Building EQ is useful because it helps us communicate in a way that gets others to listen--by encouraging them to keep an open mind.

I don't want to kick Talia while she's down. I know what it's like to lose a job, and everyone makes mistakes. And although I only know the situation from the outside, I'm quite sure that both sides could have improved the way they handled the situation from the beginning.

Nonetheless, as I read Talia's Medium post, I couldn't help but identify numerous lessons as to how EQ could have improved the situation. 

My takeaways:

Don't start an important conversation when you're emotional.

Passion and anger can help us to stand up for what is right or fight against what is wrong. But those qualities can also be destructive and hurt our cause in the end.

Talia addresses some extremely important issues, such as the rising cost of living in San Francisco, and the challenges this presents to entry-level employees. The issues she raises are definitely worth discussing.

If you're going to write out of anger, that's totally okay. Just don't send it to anyone. And definitely don't publish it for the world to read...at least, not yet.

Most often you'll see that after a few hours (or even days), your perspective changes quite a bit. You can find better ways to say what you're feeling, that sell your case a whole lot better.

For example, Talia protests that she would "have to work in support for an entire year" before being allowed to change to a different department. "A whole year answering calls and talking to customers just for the hope that someday I'd be able to make memes and twitter jokes about food." (Italics and bold type are Talia's.)

Hmm. For many, these statements will contribute to the unfortunate stereotype that Millennials are spoiled and entitled, with the very thought of working their way up from an entry level  position--gasp, for a whole year--being out of the question.

Is that unfair? Of course. My friend and fellow columnist Tai Tran (a Millennial himself) penned this excellent response to Talia's open letter here on LinkedIn. Besides being a great read, it gives advice to Tai's fellow Millennials as well as Boomer and Gen-X company leaders.

As Tai puts it:

Millennials should take actions over their circumstances rather than using social as a platform to vent their frustrations. 

Takeaway: If you're angry, take some time to cool down before starting the conversation. 

Think deeply about your desired result. Then, ask yourself: How will the other side view what I have to say?

In addition, it can only help to go to someone you respect and ask his or her opinion of your views, as well as about your tone and choice of words (if it's a written piece). That additional perspective can help you see things from the other side.

Whoever starts the conversation sets the tone.

If you present your points in a calm and reasonable manner, your chances are pretty high that people will respond similarly. Acknowledge the other person's efforts and challenges, and they'll be more ready to listen.

In contrast, Talia uses sarcasm (with the CEO of the company, no less) to accuse, with statements like "I know [my thoughts] aren't worth your time". She suggests that her company stop "restocking flavored coconut waters since no one drinks them (because they taste like the bitter remorse of accepting a job that can't pay a living wage...)".

Ouch. How would you respond to a similar employee complaint? 

Now consider for a moment how the response might change if Talia had assumed the best in her boss. What if she had acknowledged that she has no idea what it's like to run a large company and be responsible for thousands of employees? What if she thanked him for the free food that's supplied as a company perk, instead of complaining that "we’re not allowed to take any of that home because it’s for at-work eating"?

Takeaway: It might be cliché, but it's true: If you're looking to catch someone's attention--whether flies, your boss, or your significant other--honey works a whole lot better than vinegar.

There's no turning back.

Talia's post is the most recent proof of the power of social media. She's attracted a lot of attention to her message. But will it be good for her in the end?

Consider her next potential employer(s): Will they be scared away, wondering what the next blog post will be about? I'm not sure if "the woman who wrote the viral letter ripping her CEO" is the reputation Talia was going for.

In addition, after she was fired, Talia updated the post with her PayPal and Venmo credentials along with this note:

"As of 5:43pm PST, I have been officially let go from the company. This was entirely unplanned (but I guess not completely unexpected?) but any help until I find new employment would be extremely appreciated."

I realize this came from a sense of desperation, and I can understand why Talia would try to capitalize on her letter going viral. But she should also understand that many readers will interpret this as "begging for a handout". 

Takeaway: People will judge and label you based on your online brand. It's not always right, but it's a fact of life.

Before you post, ask yourself:

What does this say about me? Is this the first thing I want others to see if they look me up online? Will I feel the same way in a few years? 

The other perspective

As I mentioned, I'm sure Yelp's not perfect in all of this. 

Could the company have taken Talia's complaints more seriously from the beginning? Could there have been a more productive dialogue with employees? If so, you might not be reading this article. 

Regarding the aftermath, Stoppelman tweeted that he read Talia's post on Medium and acknowledged her point "that the cost of living in SF is far too high" and that he has "been focused on this issue...speaking out frequently about the need to lower cost of housing."

Stoppelman also stated that he was not personally involved in Talia being let go and claimed that the firing "was not because she posted a Medium letter directed at me".

Okay. Well, that's one amazing coincidence. Of course, it is possible that the letter simply brought other things to light...or even that Talia already knew she was getting fired, before she wrote it.

Since we can only guess, let's say these are all things that make you go hmmm.

Putting it into practice

The moral of the story: Emotionally intelligent communication is about trying to see things from the other side. In addition, there's nothing wrong with getting angry. It's all about keeping that anger under control.

Work on doing that consistently, and your communication is more likely to get the results that you're looking for.

[UPDATE: Just two weeks later, another Yelp employee took to Medium to share her experience. You'll never guess what happened next.

Here's the story, along with my take: Another Open Letter to Yelp Reveals the Company's Biggest Problem]

What do you think? Did you read Talia's Medium post the way I did? Was Yelp wrong to terminate her employment so quickly? Look forward to reading your comments.

Image credit: Photo by Steve Jennings/Getty Images for TechCrunch, courtesy of Flickr

***

As an author and one of LinkedIn's Top Voices, I share my thoughts on management best practices and organizational culture weekly. If you're interested in reading my free monthly newsletter, click here or contact me via email using jbariso[at]insight-global.de. (Or feel free to follow me on LinkedIn or on Twitter @JustinJBariso.) 

I also write for Inc. and TIME. Some other articles you might enjoy:

• These 3 Questions Will Instantly Improve the Way You Communicate
• This Restaurant Owner Issued an Outstanding Response to the New York Times
• Starbucks' CEO Sent an Extraordinary Email to Employees Yesterday. Here Are 2 Takeaways
• Why Everything You Know About Millennials Is About to Change