Developmental feedback

I recently blogged about the neuroscience of positive feedback and one reader, Samantha Gee, posted an insightful comment.

Samantha pointed out that "developmental feedback provokes a fear/flight response in the brain." Tony Schwartz, CEO of US consulting firm The Energy Project, once said that when someone compromises our values - through something they say or do - our brains respond in exactly the same way as if it were our safety being compromised. In other words, someone talking over you in a meeting, for example, produces the same chemical reaction in the brain as someone threatening you with a knife! The irony is, when our values are threatened in this way, the 'fight' response equivalent is often to attack the offender's values in the very same way that they upset us in the first place. We can very quickly and unconsciously create a vicious cycle of mental attack and defence.

Positive feedback is arguably easier to give because developmental feedback (if it's not delivered with emotional intelligence and positive intent) can be harmful. But developmental feedback is essential - it helps people develop, it inspires continuous improvement, it nurtures our sense of self awareness; all things that are crucial to creating a high performance culture in an organisation.

Samantha's question, then, was:

How can we create a culture of trust and ensure feedback is truthful if we only talk about the positive things we see?

Create a culture where feedback can thrive

Dr Doirean Wilson, Senior Lecturer at Middlesex University, told me about an activity she ran with inter-cultural groups to demonstrate cultural diversity. She asked people to split up into small groups and come up with a collective definition of a value that we all hold in some form or another: respect.

"Respect is a good one to explore because it's something we often take for granted," Doirean told me. "We might assume that other people define respect in the same way that we do."

However, once the groups began their discussions, they quickly discovered that they all had very different perceptions of what respect looked like. Indeed, a behaviour denoting respect to one person could be in direct contrast to another person's definition of disrespect.

So to return to feedback and creating a culture of trust, I believe one way to develop this culture would be for the individuals in the organisation to first define values like trust in order to establish a collective definition. What kinds of words demonstrate a trusting culture? What kinds of body language? What behaviours? You could do the same activity with any values that are relevant to giving developmental feedback such as respect, kindness, continuous improvement and so on.

Create a norm

In my first feedback blog, I talked about forming a feedback habit as an individual. The same applies at an organisational level. Make giving feedback (both motivational and developmental) the norm. Build it into institutions such as meetings, company away days, training events, and organisational language.

One example I really like is creating a 'feedback line-up' when you have a group of people together. Arrange two rows of chairs and asks participants to sit facing each other, close enough that they can hear each other over the rest of the group. Explain that one side is the feedback givers, and the other is the feedback receivers. In the first round, each person gives/receives a piece of motivational and developmental feedback. After a few minutes, the facilitator instructs the people on one side to move down one. After the 'givers' have given three people feedback, they swap sides. By the end, each person will have given feedback three times and received it three times from a different person. Keeping it relatively fast paced keeps the energy up and helps people get into the flow quickly. 

Creating a norm in this way will help people understand that feedback is valued and take out the sting for any individuals for whom feedback is uncomfortable or threatening. You can even create a feedback framework specific to your organisation. One example I've seen used by some companies is AID:

Action - what did you observe the person doing or saying?
Impact - what was the impact of this behaviour on you personally?
Do - what do you think the person could do or do differently as a result of your feedback?

What's helpful about this framework is that it guides you to focus on identifying a behaviour, rather than labelling or interpreting the behaviour. When feedback is given in this way (e.g. 'I noticed in the meeting that you were sitting back and looking out the window'), it's difficult for the person to dispute it. The 'Impact' bit is where you can describe the impact it had on you. It's unfair on others (and the receiver) to give feedback on behalf of someone else because you can only ever know with certainty how you have been impacted. The 'Do' part keeps it outcome and action focused. All three together help the feedback giver to frame the feedback in an objective way, with the positive intention to help the other person in some way.

Create a positive intention

Part of creating a positive intention is putting yourself in the other person's shoes. How will you deliver this feedback? For example, some people are open to developmental feedback and will even invite it in open arenas. Others can feel very sensitive about feedback and would prefer it be delivered in private. It can be good practice to ask first, 'Can I give you some feedback?' and then check if this is a good moment or location to give it before launching into it. 

Ultimately, it's worth remembering that we are all unique and hold different beliefs and values about feedback. The more you give feedback to individuals, the more you'll come to appreciate the nuances of what works best for them.

And of course it's always worthwhile asking for feedback on your feedback-giving! Leading by example by being open to feedback and actively inviting it is the best way you can influence a feedback culture in your organisation.

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How do you give developmental feedback? Have you created a feedback culture in your organisation? What challenges have you faced? I'd love to know your thoughts...

*This blog (and its predecessor) is part of #FeedbackCarnival. Check it out on Twitter to read other blogs about feedback.