Finding the Confidence to Strip

I can’t pinpoint an exact date. There was no epiphany that took place one day. But, over the past year, slowly but surely, I’ve started to enjoy living each day just a little bit more.

For 30 years, I wasted time and energy worrying about what others thought. Would they like the dress I was wearing? Would they think I was too slow? Would they notice those extra layer of softness on my arms? I spent countless hours comparing myself to everyone. This constant struggle caused self-doubt and affected every aspect of my life.

What took me so long to realize is that 99.5% of the other people are too busy and focused on their life that they don’t have time to think about that girl next to them. Whether it’s the girl running next them at the gym or the girl lying next to them at the pool.

In the past six months, I have felt more confident and happier than any other time in my life.

On Saturday, after ten years of running, I finally found the confidence to run in a sports bra. The slight breeze felt cool and refreshing against my skin, and I couldn’t help but smile. I don’t have a six-pack and don’t have a perfect body but I felt strong and I know how hard I’ve worked to feel that way.  Even though the miles didn’t come easy, the feeling of freedom and confidence gave renewed meaning to the run. 

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After sharing the picture on Instagram and Facebook, I was amazed the number of women who commented. These are women who I’ve considered my inspirations whether for fitness or physique. Somehow, they were amazed that I ran without a shirt. Many of them said they wish they could reach that point.

Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic pill I can prescribe or a book I can recommend to each of you so that you can feel the joy that is, for lack of better words, “not giving a shit.”

The only thing I can do is to beg and plead that each of you find the courage to strip down, whatever that means in your life. Try just one thing that scares you or intimidates you. If you want to strip off the shirt and run in a sports bra, try running in a new area, where you won’t be recognized or run earlier in the day. If you want to practice hot yoga in one layer less, try it at home first, so you get comfortable in your skin. If you want to clip in, but are scared of falling, try riding with only one foot clipped in until you feel comfortable. Want to wear something that isn’t on the pages of this month’s fashion magazine? Own it and wear it with pride.

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Don’t believe it’s that easy? Two of the women who inspire me daily stripped down for their workouts for the first time this week! Both Bonnie and Mindy shared that it felt liberating and helped them realize how far they’ve come in their journey. All it takes is a little bit of confidence and the freedom to not care what others think. I bet you’ll have a high from all that libration and far more time on your hands to focus on the important stuff.

Oh and don’t forget, it is a gradual evolution. As I said, it didn’t click overnight. Slowly but surely I worried less about other people and spent more time focusing on me.  There are moments when I lack confidence or worry about what others think, but it’s far less often than before.

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26 Comments

  1. Lauren July 22, 2015 / 2:33 am

    This is so inspiring to me. My stomach is my least favorite part of my body. I’ve always had the little pouch and it never is flat, but who cares?! This is inspiring to go out there and just do it. Kudos to you (and you look great!)

  2. Gina | Running to the Kitchen July 22, 2015 / 3:10 am

    I can’t even count the number of times I’ve wanted to throw my shirt off at CrossFit because it’s so hot but haven’t. I finally did once this summer. Haven’t found the courage to do so again since but…baby steps 🙂 Love this post, lady!

  3. Jessica @ balance and thyme July 22, 2015 / 3:40 am

    I love this! It is so inspiring to see body positive posts like these. I recently had some precancerous mole sites removed on my side and back that left rather large scars. I am very conscious of when I wear a swimsuit or low back too. I need to remember that they are a part of me and anyone who doesn’t like it doesn’t matter anyway.
    You rocked it girl. Keep it up!

  4. MC July 22, 2015 / 4:21 am

    You’ve reminded me of Olivia Joules’ Rules for Living. Rule #2 No one is thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you.
    (from Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination by Helen Fielding).

  5. orla July 22, 2015 / 6:58 am

    I did a group nude photo shoot about 6 years ago with about 1700 other people. Spencer Tunick was the phototgrapher. I was terrified of comparing myself to others and that others would criticise me. But you’re right not one person said or did anything. I felt strong, empowered & beautiful. And now have the picture hanging in my WC. it’s liberating. You look amazing in that picture. And reminded me that its not about what others think.

  6. Tracy Schwartz July 22, 2015 / 7:53 am

    You are such an inspiration!

    Maybe I will be confident enough to wear a bikini in Vegas next month at my best friends bachelorette weekend! And a crop top that I have been eyeing!

    I’m always afraid someone is judging me. But you’re right everyone is busy in themself.

    Thanks for yet another great post!

  7. CARLA July 22, 2015 / 9:54 am

    I love this.
    THIS THIS THIS IS ALL I WANT FOR MY DAUGHTER, too.

    xoxo

  8. Elizabeth July 22, 2015 / 12:41 pm

    This is great! I am pretty sure though I won’t be able to do it….I’ve only started running 4 years ago and I’m so crooked from scoliosis that I’m sure I would get some stares….I already have received comments from people while out shopping! That said….maybe if I’m feeling brave one day….too bad liquid courage pre-running doesn’t go very well together!! Well done!

  9. Taylor @ LiftingRevolution.com July 22, 2015 / 1:01 pm

    Rock it! I am proud of all you ladies! I own a women’s gym, and I want to bad each and every one to feel comfortable in their skin, sweating with pride and proud of their bodies!

    I don’t often wear just a sports bra unless I’m by myself in the gym or if the Charleston heat is just way too much… which let’s face it is often during the summer!

    Perhaps I need to make a “take it off” class just for one day to help the ladies feel free!

  10. Amanda @ ShapinUp.com July 22, 2015 / 1:42 pm

    This is such an amazing post! Thanks for putting yourself out there and inspiring all of us along the way. This makes me want to strip the tank and run in a sports bra too. Coming soon…

    XO

  11. Traci July 22, 2015 / 1:56 pm

    This is such a great post & something I struggle with daily. I’ve always been way too concerned about what other people think of me. I know it shouldn’t matter & I shouldn’t care but actually not caring has proven to be uber difficult!! My husband & I laugh about how much I’ve changed over the past few years with regard to working out & running. I always tell him they day I run in public in just my sports bra is the day he knows I’ve lost my mind. I’d like to get past that.

  12. Heathers Looking Glass July 22, 2015 / 2:30 pm

    Pre baby, in the summer I used to run in a sports bra b/c it’s just so DANG HOT down here, but I have yet to have the confidence to do it post baby. However, we went to the beach a couple weeks ago and I DID wear a bikini instead of a tankini, so small victory for me!

  13. Mary July 22, 2015 / 3:09 pm

    I absolutely love this! You look beyond fantastic and am thrilled you can show the world without hesitation! You are amazing!

  14. Bonnie July 22, 2015 / 3:48 pm

    What a great post! And thanks for sharing the first time for Mindy and I! 😉 You’ve sparked a revolution! Proud of you and thank you for inspiring me!

  15. Mary July 22, 2015 / 6:45 pm

    You go, girly!! I think at my thinnest I never had the confidence to run in a sports bra! You look so fantastic and I am so proud of all the hard work you’ve put in over the last year or so to improve your running, etc! You’re definitely an inspiration to me! 🙂 Keep it up!

  16. Gianna @ Run, Lift, Repeat July 22, 2015 / 6:46 pm

    One of my most liberating moments was doing it 2 summers ago. I can’t say that I have followed that up many more times but what a victory it felt like! Good for you! and hope that run was just amazing 🙂

    • ashleyd July 23, 2015 / 1:30 pm

      That’s awesome Gianna! Hope you get back there again soon!

    • ashleyd July 23, 2015 / 12:50 pm

      Thank you so much Abby!

  17. Trisha July 23, 2015 / 2:05 pm

    Love love love this post!

  18. Laureen @Peachylau July 28, 2015 / 10:10 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I am not confident enough to strip yet but will let you know when I do!

    • ashleyd July 29, 2015 / 12:20 am

      You can do it Laureen!!!

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