How to Piss off Vietnamese

How to Piss off Vietnamese

Recently I’ve been reading a couple of articles telling me how to piss of Czechs and Australians. I bet there is a lot more on pissing off rest of the world. In an attempt to contribute more hatred to society, I will show you how to piss off Vietnamese.

Ask if Vietnamese eat dog

I got a lot of “Do you eat dog?” or “You guys eat a lot of dogs.” Sometimes I said, “But not as much as you eat beef.” Then they would say “But beef is meat, dogs are pets.” To that, I retorted “You make them pets, not us.” If they are Czechs or Slovaks I would call them on their merciless practice of slapping dead rabbits, roasting these cute little bunnies and mixing them with their pride national dumpling meals. “And you dare calling us dog eater, bunny killer!”

Then I would point out to more serious dog-eating culture in Korea and China.

Yes, some Vietnamese eat dogs. Some made a living selling barbeque rib, Chihuahua fillet, shepherd steak (ok a bit exaggerating here). Some steal dogs. However, this doesn’t mean little puppies are making their ways into restaurant menus and moms’ favorite recipes.

Stop asking these kinds of questions or you piss them off so much they’ll go after yours.

Assume Vietnamese are Chinese

If you are Eastern Europeans, don’t tell me you love it when others assume that you are more or less Russian, speak and understand Russian, and your culture has something to do with Russia. This goes the same for the Vietnamese, small country vs. the big bully. Vietnamese culture indeed has a lot of influence from China, many of which have blended with the local culture that sometimes we are not sure if they originated from Vietnam or China.

However, Vietnamese are different people, speak a different language and use Latin alphabets instead of Chinese characters. To many Vietnamese people, it’s offensive to attribute anything Chinese to them, especially now when there is a huge tension over territory claim in the South China Sea and the influx of toxic made-in-china products to Vietnam.

Vietnamese are as Chinese as Eastern Europeans are Russians, Irish English, American Canadians.

Support anything socialism or worse communism

Do this to Vietnamese in USA, Australia, and Western Europe, and your lefty existence will never be the same, you communist sympathizer. 😉

To understand this rather sensitive subject, you need to understand the history behind the presence of the Vietnamese community in the bespoke region. Most people came from the non-Communist South Vietnam who fled the country after the war when the country was united under the Communist government. Thus it is understandable they developed anti-Communist mentality.

I myself suffered from this wrath just by unintentionally displaying my nickname in Russian Cyrillic characters on a Vietnamese forum. Some went so far as calling me a Russian commie.

Attack or criticize Vietnamese culture

Vietnamese react very badly when foreigners criticize their habits, behaviors or things related to Vietnam.Do this online and watch the verbal abuse from Vietnamese netizens

It’s not that we consider our culture superior or perfect without a fault. We do criticize our bad habits a lot, but we think it’s the job of insiders and not outsiders as in “I can say anything about my mother, but you can’t.”

Make Vietnamese look dumb in front of others

Ever heard of the Asian “saving face” value? In Vietnam, we have a saying “Close the door, then teach one another.” The next time you want making them embarrassed, hurt or stupid, do the confrontation out in the open space. You’ll surely piss the hell out of them to the point that your relationship will never be the same.

Sing praise about the Vietnamese – American war “Oh you won!”

Many people know the existence of Vietnam only because of the war with the USA. The fact that Vietnam won the war makes it a more interesting topic. We receive a question like: “So you beat Americans huh!” or “You should be proud because you beat Americans.” Uh, how do we respond to that? What’s so special about winning the war, beating the almighty somebody and ending up being a third-world country? Is there anything else we are known for than just the war factor?

That’s all I can think of for now. Use this at your own risk if you want to piss off any Vietnamese. I’ll update this post when I think of more ways to piss off myself.