Hey, hey! How’s your week starting off?

Yesterday was somewhat of a catch-up day for me. It’s typically reserved for check-ins with my online clients in the morning, and then blog post writing in the afternoon. During that mid-morning and early afternoon time-frame, I was gallivanting around town running errands. I had to stop by Arhaus to pick up my coffee table for the office, World Market for an exchange, and Trader Joes for essentials. Like pre-cooked beets (which I immediately came home and put into this salad.)

You guys. I have been extremely bad about cooking veggies lately. I’ll either throw them on the stove or in the oven, and then head into my office to work. An hour goes by, and suddenly I remember, abruptly look up, and say “oh sh!t!” and then return to my kitchen, which welcomes me with an unpleasant burning smell, and black vegetables. Ah well. I’ve realized I should just give in and take the short cuts I need to take: aka buying pre-cooked veggies when possible. Besides, these pre-steamed beets from TJ’s were the exact same price per weight as the raw beets. So there.

At World Market, I got a couple more things for my office bookshelf. I’m slowly buying piece by piece so that it doesn’t look all chachky-like. I need to get some book covers from Etsy, but so far so good. I’ll show you a tour of the whole room when it’s finished (can you tell I’m excited about it? haha)

Moving on!

How to Say ‘No’ Without Being Rude

In yesterday’s blog post I talked about choosing when to say ‘No’  – and knowing when saying ‘yes’ just won’t serve you or your priorities.

The whole activity was very eye-opening, but it also really made me think about how terribly difficult it used to be for me to give some one an answer of ‘no.’

As I mentioned yesterday, I used to be a ha-yuge people pleaser. I’d say “yes” to anything, as it was my default answer because I didn’t want to let anyone down or to have someone not like me. And when I say yes when I shouldn’t have, it’s not fair to me or the person I said yes to, because I couldn’t be 100% there and committed. Then I began to grow a pair and started saying “maybe.” Now I’ve thrown caution to the wind, and have begun saying a big fat “no” to things that don’t serve me.

Telling someone “no” can be liberating. And you really don’t even need to make up an excuse as to why you’re saying “no!” The key is to realize that if the person you’re telling no gets upset with you, that’s their issue. I’ve actually come to believe that if a person gets angry with me for saying “no,” it’s just reaffirming my decision.

I know that some say No is a complete sentence, and I personally really appreciate when I get a “no” back without an excuse. Seriously. I think, good for them for being able to say no, and respect me enough to trust that’s enough for me. But – and I know I’ll get push back here – I’m a big fan of being nice in my rejection. In other words: how to say “no” without sounding like an asshole.

[Tweet “How to Say ‘No’ without Sounding Rude – via @TrainerPaige #fitfluential”]

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re being rude! Remember back in school when we were taught how to give constructive criticism? You know, the compliment sandwich? Compliment the person, then tell them what they need to work on, then compliment them again? It’s like leadership 101. I use that same premise when delivering a negatory answer.

Here’s how I like to do it:

Step 1. Reaffirm the request

(i.e. that’s so great that you’re (whatever they’re doing – going to a festival, starting a business, writing a book, etc.)

Step 2. Say no

(“Unfortunately, I’m a no for your request.” Or “I’m not able to go/do/be/whatever action is being requested.” “I’m a no for this.” “I’ll be passing on your offer.”

Step 3. End it positively

(“Thank you for thinking of me!” “I know you’re going to do great things” “I know you’ll have fun” “Best of luck”)

Optional Step 4. Suggest an alternative

(“let me suggest someone who might be of interest to you,” “Instead, I’d love to do _____, if you’re up for it” or “google it” …kidding…kind of)

Then be done. Don’t make up an excuse – then you’re lying to yourself and the person to whom you’re saying no. Here’s another quote about saying no that I just love:

[Tweet “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself – via @trainerpaige”]

So the next time someone asks you to do something and at your core it’s a ‘no,’ be truthful to yourself and the other person, and say it.

And tomorrow, we’ll be back to more fitness-y things: all about interval work, and how to put together your best HIIT workout!

Are you good at saying ‘no?’ (It’s ok, you can say no! 😉 )