CDR: Like it or not, we need to use our words

Facebook announced this week that they would soon begin testing a “dislike” button next to their ubiquitous “like” button. Facebook users have long expressed a desire for a simple way to express empathy to friends and family (and even businesses) whose posts contain news of loss or sadness. This makes sense to those that have ever felt the impulse to click the “like” button when reading that a friend has experienced loss of a relationship, a job or a loved one. We want others to know that we care, but perhaps we don’t have the words (or in many cases, I’m sad to say, the time) to engage in more substantive ways.

Some will lament how social media has changed — even inhibited — the ways in which we communicate with one another. Our interactions are happening in real time yet are often quick, spontaneous, and for all our good intentions, lacking in substance. I would suggest, however, that this is not necessarily a new phenomenon in human interaction. How many times have you been asked “How are you?” only to respond with a less-than-substantive, “Fine.” It’s not that we mean to leave out the details of what’s really going on in our lives or that we’re trying to misrepresent how we really feel at that moment. We simply forgo the opportunity for engagement and defer to expediency.

There’s a period after children begin to talk that parents have to remind them to use their words to express their feelings and needs rather than grunting, screaming or crying. It seems that we all need to be reminded from time to time these days to “use our words.” Our words give life to our stories, our heritage, our values, our feelings and our hopes and dreams. Our words also help us to articulate affirmation to or differences of opinion with those around us.

It’s just as important, if not more, to stop and hear the words that others are using as well. There’s no shortage of people expressing their opinions in the world today, so there are times that it’s almost necessary to filter out some of the “noise,” but I think it would serve us all well to turn off this filter more often when engaging with others face-to-face. While disagreements are bound to happen, it’s just as likely that we may find common ground with one another because we took the time to truly listen and respond.

I’d encourage you to challenge yourself to “use your words” more often in ways that feel authentic and personal and to give others the time and space to use their words in the same way. It’s far too easy to push a “like” or “dislike” button, but there is an abundance of rewards to be found in speaking, in listening, and in seeking common ground with those around us.

Cory Goode is a member of the Greater Springfield Center for Diversity and Reconciliation. The mission of the CDR is “to transform, educate and connect diverse communities in Springfield to inspire deep understanding and profound appreciation of our differences, which calls each of us to our fullest relationship with one another.”