What to Bring to a Dinner Party, According to Etiquette Experts

Knowing what's appropriate to bring to a dinner party can be daunting. You don't want to arrive empty-handed, but you also don't want to bring something that won't be well received. While a nice gift for the host is a good place to start, what you bring to a dinner party should go beyond a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates. Things like arriving on time and in good spirits are equally as valuable. To help you become the best guest you can be, we tapped etiquette experts who shared their tips for what to bring to a dinner party (and what to leave at home).

A Gift for the Host

The best thing you can bring to a dinner party is a token of your appreciation. "When someone is kind enough to extend an invitation, you should be kind enough to bring along a hostess gift," says etiquette expert Jodi Smith of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.

Flowers

Flowers make for a wonderful gift for your hosts, but there are some things to consider when bringing them along. "If we decide to bring freshly cut flowers, we should present them with a nice, decorative vase because this will make the host duties much easier and unproblematic," says Maryanne Parker, founder and executive director of Manor of Manners. "Otherwise, the gracious host will start looking for a vase, which might be inconvenient and overwhelming for the moment."

Additionally, opt for flowers that don't have a strong odor, which can bother certain allergies. It's also important to do research into the flowers you plan to bring before selecting them. Some flowers can be toxic to animals, while others may carry certain symbolism. For example, in some cultures, white is the color for sad occasions, says Parker.  

Champagne

While wine is a popular host gift, a bottle of Champagne is ideal for a dinner party. "Champagne can be served at the beginning of the dinner while we are still mingling and talking or later on," says Parker. "Also, it has a celebratory connotation. Most times the wine might not be suitable for the dinner menu and the host might feel obligated to open it."

Chocolate

A nice box of chocolate is also a great gift to bring along to a dinner party. Just be sure to double-check that your host doesn't have any allergies before selecting an assortment of sweets. Want to go the extra mile? Consider bringing some gourmet cookies for your host, too.

Something Thoughtful

If you know any details about the host, consider them when choosing a thoughtful gift. "For example, if we know that the host is planning a beautiful trip to Italy, we can give them a book about the history of Italy, the museums, the most iconic place to be visited, or even a travel journal," says Parker.

Polite Manners

Beyond physical gifts, being on your best behavior should also be a top priority. "Each guest should arrive with polite manners," says Lisa Grotts, of Golden Rules Gal. "It's important to take the opportunity to make a great first impression."

Thoughtful Conversation

Be prepared to take part in various conversations when attending a dinner party. "A good guest at a dinner party knows that sparking conversation is part of the entertainment. Be ready for such obvious questions as, 'What's new?' and 'Tell me about yourself,'" says Grotts. "Be sure to express an interest in others and ask questions of them, as well."

A Sense of Timing

Arriving on time is important, but so is knowing when to leave. "After dessert, watch your host for clues and cues. Do they turn off the music? Turn up the lights? Stop refreshing drinks? Clear all the food? No need to wait for the host to tell you to leave. Notice when things are winding down to begin your thank yous and goodbyes," says Smith.

What Not to Bring to a Dinner Party

While there are plenty of great things you can bring to a dinner party, there are also a few gifts to stay away from.

A Dish

Unless it's a potluck and you brought your assigned item, an edible gift is often not welcome. "It may not match the flavors and theme of the meal, or the host may want to save it for themselves," says Smith.

Something Too Personal

While original gifts are always welcome, bringing something too personal is a no-go. "If we do not know much about our host, we should pick up something simple and noncontroversial, never personal," says Parker.

A Joke Gift

Avoid bringing gifts that are intended to be funny. "We all have a different sense of humor," says Parker. "In other words, if something is funny and humorous to us, it might not be funny or humorous to someone else." To avoid conveying the wrong message, it's best to leave any joke gifts at home.