The Ten Dumbest Things Said in Defense of Abortion

Opinion   |   Cassy Fiano   |   Aug 1, 2013   |   12:51PM   |   Washington, DC

The past few years haven’t been great for abortion.

More and more people are calling themselves pro-life, including more young Americans than ever before. Pro-life laws are being passed in record numbers each year. While it would be foolish to say that pro-lifers are winning the war on abortion, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that we’re making progress — and that has the pro-aborts panicking.

Some pretty crazy statements are being made in their desperate attempt to keep abortion on demand legal at any time, for any reason. Some are flat-out ridiculous, some are insulting, and others chilling. These are ten of the dumbest things said in defense of abortion.

10. Women shouldn’t have to choose between their cell phones and birth control.

In a stunning display of entitlement, students at the University of New Mexico got upset because the school would no longer be subsidizing birth control. While pro-aborts often try to give sad, sad stories about women who need birth control out of medical necessity, or need abortion because they will DIE without it, the truth is, it’s often merely a matter of convenience. The reason women should get free birth control? Because otherwise, students might be forced to choose between their birth control and… their cell phones! Or their gym memberships! Oh, cruel world! It is just an unthinkable notion that a college student be forced to work out for free at the icky gym on campus, or go with a cheaper cell phone model — or, even worse, pay for the ultra-cheap generic brand birth control at Wal-Mart. Worst of all is the notion that they might be forced to abstain from sex, since they can’t afford birth control and aren’t ready for a baby. Because in the pro-abort world, women are merely animals, incapable of controlling their sexual urges, right?

9. Pro-lifers need a lesson on the birds and the bees.

Nancy Pelosi makes her first appearance on our list, where she responded to laws limiting (but not outlawing) abortions in North Carolina and Texas by saying that pro-life politicians needed “a lesson on the birds and the bees”. Because the only people who understand sex and pregnancy are the pro-aborts, right? Unfortunately, that has turned out to be less and less true over the years. Pro-lifers have embryology on their side, as well as the science of pregnancy and fetal development. Meanwhile, pro-aborts just try to insist that a baby is just a clump of tissues, or that fetal pain laws are dumb because fetal pain doesn’t exist, or that there are no adverse risks that come with abortion. It doesn’t matter that the science isn’t on their side — they’ll still keep claiming, like Nancy Pelosi did, that it’s pro-lifers who are the idiots in need of educating.

8. Women should go into debt to have an abortion.

Abortions are often expensive, costing thousands of dollars when late-term. Ripping babies into pieces is hard work, after all. But this can mean finding the money for the abortion is difficult for some women. Thankfully, pro-aborts like Leela Yellesetty are here to help! What does she do when women are struggling to afford an abortion? Why, help put them into debt, of course! Yellesetty bragged about how she would talk women into taking about payday loans with interest rates over 300%, pawning their valuables, and putting the money for their procedure onto already maxed-out credit cards. Who cares that these women will be breaking their backs to pay off a $3,000 abortion funded by a payday loan with a 322% interest rate? The abortionist got their money, and that’s all that matters.

7. White people are trying to eliminate abortion to “build up the race”.

Pro-lifers have long since spoken out about the overwhelming number of black babies that are aborted. We speak out against the fact that black babies are being aborted at higher rates than other babies, or that many abortion clinics intentionally target minority neighborhoods. And why is this? According to CBS analyst Nancy Giles, this is all because white pro-lifers want to build up the white race. Yep, that’s right. Our dastardly plan is to build up the white race by opposing abortions of black babies, therefore leading to… erm… the births of more black babies. Makes perfect sense.

6. Men don’t deserve to have a voice on abortion.

According to many pro-aborts, men shouldn’t be allowed to talk about abortion, at all (unless they’re for abortion, in which case it’s totally cool). This is because men can’t get pregnant, so as one pro-abortion blogger said, male voices should be silenced in the abortion discussion. Nevermind that the baby is half the father’s. Men need to just shut up about abortion! And meanwhile, anyone who isn’t black can’t speak about slavery, and anyone who isn’t Jewish can’t talk about the Holocaust. Right? It’s the same logic, after all.

5. You’re only a person if you can play tennis.

A few years ago, Choice USA released a video about pregnancy that was just hilarious. To show how ridiculous the idea of a fetus being a person is, a pregnant woman is told that she has to play doubles tennis instead of singles, must pay for two tickets to see a movie instead of one, and must split a bill between two people three ways — because her unborn child is a person. Get it?? Because everyone knows that a person is defined by what they can or cannot do. In a wheelchair and can’t play tennis? Well, clearly this means you aren’t a person worthy of life.

4. As a Catholic, abortion is sacred ground.

Nancy Pelosi makes her second appearance on our list, where she talks about her wackadoodle version of the Catholic faith. Pelosi defended not only abortions, but late-term abortions, by saying that as a practicing Catholic, keeping late-term abortions legal was sacred ground. Abortion may be a sacrament for pro-aborts, but in the actual Catholic church, protecting all human life is what’s actual sacred ground. Pelosi’s fight to keep abortion legal goes against Catholic teachings, and pretending she’s a pro-abortion warrior because she’s a Catholic does nothing more than make a mockery of the Church.

3. Women who don’t support abortion are men with breasts.

It’s not unusual to hear a pro-abortion feminist say that women can’t be feminists unless they support abortion. Unless you fall in lockstep with their abortion worship, you can’t be a part of their club. But they also insist that they’re pro-choice, not pro-abortion. Actually exercise a choice they don’t agree with, though, and they’ll turn on you before you can blink. Case in point: Pennsylvania State Representative Babette Josephs, who smeared pro-life women by calling them men with breasts. Because you can’t be a real woman unless you’re willing to advocate for the brutal murder of your unborn child!

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2. Women would be nothing without abortion.

Carly Manes is 19-years-old, and defines herself as an abortion activist. She’s able to do all kinds of cool stuff, and so are other women. Why? Because of abortion! According to Manes, it is only because abortion is legal that women are able to devote their energy to do things like go to school, work as an activist, be an athlete, or decide to be vegetarians (like Manes!). Women owe everything to abortion. Without the ability to kill our unborn children, women would be able to accomplish nothing. Girl power!

1. Abortion takes a life, but it’s a life worth sacrificing.

Salon blogger Mary Elizabeth Williams takes the number one spot on our list, with easily the most chilling statement. According to Williams, abortion is taking a life — but that’s OK because it is a life worth sacrificing. Williams claims that an unborn child is a life, just not one worth as much a mother’s feeling that a pregnancy is inconvenient. For Williams, some lives simply have more worth than others, with the “others” being disposable. It takes a truly depraved mind to argue that it’s acceptable to take a life merely because that person isn’t worthy of life.

LifeNews Note: Cassy Fiano is a twenty-something Florida native now living in Jacksonville, North Carolina who writes at a number of conservative web sites. She got her start in journalism at the Florida Times-Union. She is the mother of two sons, one of whom was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.