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Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1: Brutally Honest Book Reviews
WARNING: There's a lot of unnecessary profanity in this book.
Why? Because... Because REASONS!
This book contains over 100 brutally honest book reviews. These laugh-out-loud reviews are offensive in every way possible. There's so much unnecessary profanity, it's crazy. But it's not the profanity or offensiveness that makes this book worth reading. It's the honesty.
You will find 1 star reviews in this book, that absolutely tear the book to shreds, because the book was really that bad. But you will also find 5 star reviews in this book, because the book was actually that good.
It contains reviews of popular books such as Gone Girl, The Giver, The Maze Runner, and many other popular books. Of course, it also includes plenty of books you've probably never heard of.
There's reviews that urge you to read a book, because it's so good. And also, reviews that warn you to stay the hell away from certain books, because they're bad. So bad.
In the end, you'll laugh while reading this book. And cry. And possibly vomit. You've been warned.
Why? Because... Because REASONS!
This book contains over 100 brutally honest book reviews. These laugh-out-loud reviews are offensive in every way possible. There's so much unnecessary profanity, it's crazy. But it's not the profanity or offensiveness that makes this book worth reading. It's the honesty.
You will find 1 star reviews in this book, that absolutely tear the book to shreds, because the book was really that bad. But you will also find 5 star reviews in this book, because the book was actually that good.
It contains reviews of popular books such as Gone Girl, The Giver, The Maze Runner, and many other popular books. Of course, it also includes plenty of books you've probably never heard of.
There's reviews that urge you to read a book, because it's so good. And also, reviews that warn you to stay the hell away from certain books, because they're bad. So bad.
In the end, you'll laugh while reading this book. And cry. And possibly vomit. You've been warned.
- GenresHumor
262 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 2, 2015
About the author
Glenn Conley
1 book76 followersI didn’t learn to read and write until I was in the 3rd grade. Because, lets face it, I’m a fucking idiot. Well, that’s not entirely true. Not the idiot part. I’m totally a fucking idiot. The bit about why it took me so long to learn…
You see, I hated school. No, you don’t get it. I’m saying, I fucking HATED school. I especially hated the reading and writing lessons. They made my tiny little head hurt. So I decided not to learn it. When the teachers would do their stupid lessons, I’d just put my hands over my ears and go “Laa la la laaa, I can’t hear you!”
In this fashion, I learned from an early age, to hate books. To hate them with a burning passion. Because it was torture for me to read. It took forever for me actually get through a book. So if it sucked, I’d throw the damn thing across the room.
So now, I write scathing book reviews on the book that piss me off. Of course, I also write reviews on books that I love, and everything inbetween.
I write fiction as well. I'm nearly finished with my first novel. Raw chapters of my novel can be found at killingeveryday.com.
You see, I hated school. No, you don’t get it. I’m saying, I fucking HATED school. I especially hated the reading and writing lessons. They made my tiny little head hurt. So I decided not to learn it. When the teachers would do their stupid lessons, I’d just put my hands over my ears and go “Laa la la laaa, I can’t hear you!”
In this fashion, I learned from an early age, to hate books. To hate them with a burning passion. Because it was torture for me to read. It took forever for me actually get through a book. So if it sucked, I’d throw the damn thing across the room.
So now, I write scathing book reviews on the book that piss me off. Of course, I also write reviews on books that I love, and everything inbetween.
I write fiction as well. I'm nearly finished with my first novel. Raw chapters of my novel can be found at killingeveryday.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
March 21, 2015
Okay, so this guy hates books. I get that. I fucking hate books too. But why’d he go and write a book about it? Isn’t that the most hypocritical thing to do? I mean, it seems like this guy literally wants to put a bunch of books in a pile and burn ‘em. Great. So, is he gonna include his book as well, in this pile of books he’s gonna burn? I doubt it. Fucking hypocrite.
Apparently, this book is a collection of book reviews from this asshole’s blog. It’s 229 pages of horseshit, that’s already on his blog for free, for fuck’s sake. What’s the purpose of this goddamn book? Why the fuck would anyone buy it? It makes no sense to me, whatsoever.
Okay, maybe… Just maybe, I’d get this book to read on the shitter. I mean, I have to admit his reviews can be hysterical at times. It’s not something anyone would just buy, and sit down at their comphy chair and read. It’s not that kind of book.
I guess you could say it’s kind of like a novelty book. Like a joke book. Or something like “101 ways to piss off women.” That’s got to be a book, right? But how hard is it to piss off women? Not hard at all. Nobody needs that book, either. But they both serve their purpose. To pass the time, and get a slight chuckle, while waiting at your doctor’s office.
But be warned… I was reading this fucking book at the dentist office. They called my name and I just shouted “Ha! Fuck you, man. Oh not you, sorry. I meant this douchebag who wrote this review of Gone Girl. Fucking guy.” So yea, be careful where you read this thing. It’s dangerous, I tells ya.
There should be a warning on the goddamn thing. Just like fucking Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Well, not just like… I mean that one said “Don’t Panic.” I’m pretty sure that this guy’s warning should be the exact opposite of that. “Dude, Panic! Whatever you do, don’t read this goddamn book!” Or something to that effect.
But something tells me that it would be a briar patch kind of thing. Or maybe a Cartman kind of thing. “No! You can’t get into this amusement park. Now, fuck off.” Which was hailed as one of the most brilliant marketing strategies of its time. Movies started using it, saying “No! You can’t watch this movie. Fuck off!”
And it worked. People found a way to see those movies. They found a way into that amusement park. Because everyone wants something they can’t have. But I hate to break it to ya, Mr. Glenn Cocksucking Conley, but your book is available to anyone who wants to get it. You’re not stopping anyone with your silly warnings.
[ I wrote this review of my book of reviews about two weeks ago, when the cover literally had a warning on it that read, “WARNING: This book has lots of unnecessary profanity. Why? Because, FUCK YOU! That’s why. Got a problem with that? Eat a bag of dicks. They’re like potato chips. You can’t eat just one.” Yes, that entire warning was on the COVER of this book for like 2 days, before I changed it. lolz. I don’t know what I was thinking. ]
So fuck you, Glenn! YOU can eat a bag of dicks! And they’re nothing like potato chips. Well, I guess they are a bit salty. I mean, so I’ve heard.
Apparently, this book is a collection of book reviews from this asshole’s blog. It’s 229 pages of horseshit, that’s already on his blog for free, for fuck’s sake. What’s the purpose of this goddamn book? Why the fuck would anyone buy it? It makes no sense to me, whatsoever.
Okay, maybe… Just maybe, I’d get this book to read on the shitter. I mean, I have to admit his reviews can be hysterical at times. It’s not something anyone would just buy, and sit down at their comphy chair and read. It’s not that kind of book.
I guess you could say it’s kind of like a novelty book. Like a joke book. Or something like “101 ways to piss off women.” That’s got to be a book, right? But how hard is it to piss off women? Not hard at all. Nobody needs that book, either. But they both serve their purpose. To pass the time, and get a slight chuckle, while waiting at your doctor’s office.
But be warned… I was reading this fucking book at the dentist office. They called my name and I just shouted “Ha! Fuck you, man. Oh not you, sorry. I meant this douchebag who wrote this review of Gone Girl. Fucking guy.” So yea, be careful where you read this thing. It’s dangerous, I tells ya.
There should be a warning on the goddamn thing. Just like fucking Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Well, not just like… I mean that one said “Don’t Panic.” I’m pretty sure that this guy’s warning should be the exact opposite of that. “Dude, Panic! Whatever you do, don’t read this goddamn book!” Or something to that effect.
But something tells me that it would be a briar patch kind of thing. Or maybe a Cartman kind of thing. “No! You can’t get into this amusement park. Now, fuck off.” Which was hailed as one of the most brilliant marketing strategies of its time. Movies started using it, saying “No! You can’t watch this movie. Fuck off!”
And it worked. People found a way to see those movies. They found a way into that amusement park. Because everyone wants something they can’t have. But I hate to break it to ya, Mr. Glenn Cocksucking Conley, but your book is available to anyone who wants to get it. You’re not stopping anyone with your silly warnings.
[ I wrote this review of my book of reviews about two weeks ago, when the cover literally had a warning on it that read, “WARNING: This book has lots of unnecessary profanity. Why? Because, FUCK YOU! That’s why. Got a problem with that? Eat a bag of dicks. They’re like potato chips. You can’t eat just one.” Yes, that entire warning was on the COVER of this book for like 2 days, before I changed it. lolz. I don’t know what I was thinking. ]
So fuck you, Glenn! YOU can eat a bag of dicks! And they’re nothing like potato chips. Well, I guess they are a bit salty. I mean, so I’ve heard.
March 20, 2015
Where to begin?
First, I don't think Glenn hates books. I think Glenn has a deep and abiding love for books and all things literary. That said, this collection of book reviews from Glenn is as outrageous as it is funny. He is brutally honest in his opinions and uses very colorful language to express them. I didn't expect anything less!
He's like the Daniel Tosh or Ray William Johnson of the literary world. (Sorry if I have offended you, it was a compliment, really and truly!)
Second, if you are easily offended this book is seriously not for you, but if you enjoy a good dose of raunchy laugh-out-loud humor then go for it! He curses, swears, and basically wishes all manner of vile things from rape to death on plots, characters and authors who have earned his wrath! To say that I am terrified of reading his review of my work is an understatement.
Third, fear aside, I enjoyed this book. Glenn Conley provided me with a much needed comedy relief from the extremely long week I have had. I read some of his reviews out loud to my husband and we both enjoyed a good chuckle!
I recommend this to anyone who wants to cut through the BS and get to the heart of some really interesting book reviews. And I do mean interesting. He's no slacker either, he really talks about everything from author style, to plot holes, dialogue and genre fetishes, and character development or lack thereof.
As a writer I seek reviews, in fact, my future as a writer depends on them, as a reader I don't put much stock in reading reviews before I choose a book to indulge myself in. However, reading Glenn's reviews, even the 1 and 2 star reviews, piqued my interest in several books that would have otherwise been unknown to me. So, thanks Glenn! I do believe I am hooked!
First, I don't think Glenn hates books. I think Glenn has a deep and abiding love for books and all things literary. That said, this collection of book reviews from Glenn is as outrageous as it is funny. He is brutally honest in his opinions and uses very colorful language to express them. I didn't expect anything less!
He's like the Daniel Tosh or Ray William Johnson of the literary world. (Sorry if I have offended you, it was a compliment, really and truly!)
Second, if you are easily offended this book is seriously not for you, but if you enjoy a good dose of raunchy laugh-out-loud humor then go for it! He curses, swears, and basically wishes all manner of vile things from rape to death on plots, characters and authors who have earned his wrath! To say that I am terrified of reading his review of my work is an understatement.
Third, fear aside, I enjoyed this book. Glenn Conley provided me with a much needed comedy relief from the extremely long week I have had. I read some of his reviews out loud to my husband and we both enjoyed a good chuckle!
I recommend this to anyone who wants to cut through the BS and get to the heart of some really interesting book reviews. And I do mean interesting. He's no slacker either, he really talks about everything from author style, to plot holes, dialogue and genre fetishes, and character development or lack thereof.
As a writer I seek reviews, in fact, my future as a writer depends on them, as a reader I don't put much stock in reading reviews before I choose a book to indulge myself in. However, reading Glenn's reviews, even the 1 and 2 star reviews, piqued my interest in several books that would have otherwise been unknown to me. So, thanks Glenn! I do believe I am hooked!
March 23, 2015
Glenn Conley is a genius. But more to the point, he is a very sick man. He gives sado-masochism a bad name, as if it weren't already a dreaded psychopathology.
I mean, this guy subjects himself to some of the worst books ever written, just to provide himself fodder for his insane, diabolical, vituperative, expletive-laced rants. Why he masochistically reads such garbage can only be explained by his rampant and incurable sadism - his need to mock and humiliate authors who unwittingly or unwillingly drew his attention.
Not that he isn't thoroughly entertaining. Frankly, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! His reviews are so brutal, so vicious, so breathtakingly cosmically RUDE, I want to marry the guy. And I'm not even a homo, as he claims he is in the book about 2000 times.
The thing is, S&M like HIV, is contagious. I got the bug and actually submitted one of my books to him for shredding. The sadism is my sincere hope he reads my book. Ha! Take that, you gullible dimwad! The masochism is the revenge he will seek. The payback! There's no way he's going to appreciate my beautiful, sensitive, profound, artistic mind. That I am such a damn nice guy will even further provoke his cruelest, most sadistic and vindictive instincts. I'm going to get pummeled, destroyed, mangled, mutilated, impaled, raped, drawn and quartered. And that's if he's in a good mood!
But how bad could it be? There's no amount of discomfort that putting a gun to my head can't remedy. So, Glenn, "Go for it!" Maybe I'll even make it into his next collection. As I am often reminded, there's no such thing as bad publicity (I got that from Lorena Bobbit's husband, who went on to become a porn star).
I mean, this guy subjects himself to some of the worst books ever written, just to provide himself fodder for his insane, diabolical, vituperative, expletive-laced rants. Why he masochistically reads such garbage can only be explained by his rampant and incurable sadism - his need to mock and humiliate authors who unwittingly or unwillingly drew his attention.
Not that he isn't thoroughly entertaining. Frankly, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! His reviews are so brutal, so vicious, so breathtakingly cosmically RUDE, I want to marry the guy. And I'm not even a homo, as he claims he is in the book about 2000 times.
The thing is, S&M like HIV, is contagious. I got the bug and actually submitted one of my books to him for shredding. The sadism is my sincere hope he reads my book. Ha! Take that, you gullible dimwad! The masochism is the revenge he will seek. The payback! There's no way he's going to appreciate my beautiful, sensitive, profound, artistic mind. That I am such a damn nice guy will even further provoke his cruelest, most sadistic and vindictive instincts. I'm going to get pummeled, destroyed, mangled, mutilated, impaled, raped, drawn and quartered. And that's if he's in a good mood!
But how bad could it be? There's no amount of discomfort that putting a gun to my head can't remedy. So, Glenn, "Go for it!" Maybe I'll even make it into his next collection. As I am often reminded, there's no such thing as bad publicity (I got that from Lorena Bobbit's husband, who went on to become a porn star).
April 11, 2015
One Trick Pony
To quote the author, a book has a beginning, middle, and an end. Glenn’s so called book, Glenn Hates Books, is simply a grouping of some of his reviews into five categories: 1 star thru 5 stars with no beginning, middle or end. Not much of a book according to his own standards as he wrote in a few of his reviews.
Glenn is a one trick Pony. He uses filthy words in his reviews to apparently appeal to a younger audience. I guess the vulgarity may be funny to a 14 year old, but even with them it must get old after about five reviews. Kind of like “Your momma” jokes. After five of them in a row, it starts to get old.
After I read 120 or so reviews, I found they all began to sound alike. They had become predictable and boring. At least I give Glenn credit. He did say he was not qualified to be a book reviewer. However, he did go on to say he reviewed books because they angered him and they should be better. But, to me, that’s just his opinion. I decided to compare other opinions made by readers against Glenn’s opinions about books made in his reviews.
Anyone receiving a bad review by Glenn should take heart. I looked at the reader’s ratings of each book he reviewed and it turns out that every book Glenn gave a 1 or two star review, was rated by readers as a four or five. In an effort to be fair I only counted books that had 10 or more reviewers.
If Glenn rated your book a 3, congratulations are in order. He rated 46 books as three stars. Readers rated 43 of these same books as 4 stars or higher. One book I could not find, one had less than 10 reviews and Glenn matched readers on only one book of 46. His four and five star ratings pretty much matched readers.
I found that Glenn has been reading some well liked books. I also found if you are looking for a good book to read I wouldn’t put stock into any books reviewed by Glenn Conley unless you see how your taste matches his reviews first. In my opinion, for the normal reader he is just too far off base- you’re out!
To quote the author, a book has a beginning, middle, and an end. Glenn’s so called book, Glenn Hates Books, is simply a grouping of some of his reviews into five categories: 1 star thru 5 stars with no beginning, middle or end. Not much of a book according to his own standards as he wrote in a few of his reviews.
Glenn is a one trick Pony. He uses filthy words in his reviews to apparently appeal to a younger audience. I guess the vulgarity may be funny to a 14 year old, but even with them it must get old after about five reviews. Kind of like “Your momma” jokes. After five of them in a row, it starts to get old.
After I read 120 or so reviews, I found they all began to sound alike. They had become predictable and boring. At least I give Glenn credit. He did say he was not qualified to be a book reviewer. However, he did go on to say he reviewed books because they angered him and they should be better. But, to me, that’s just his opinion. I decided to compare other opinions made by readers against Glenn’s opinions about books made in his reviews.
Anyone receiving a bad review by Glenn should take heart. I looked at the reader’s ratings of each book he reviewed and it turns out that every book Glenn gave a 1 or two star review, was rated by readers as a four or five. In an effort to be fair I only counted books that had 10 or more reviewers.
If Glenn rated your book a 3, congratulations are in order. He rated 46 books as three stars. Readers rated 43 of these same books as 4 stars or higher. One book I could not find, one had less than 10 reviews and Glenn matched readers on only one book of 46. His four and five star ratings pretty much matched readers.
I found that Glenn has been reading some well liked books. I also found if you are looking for a good book to read I wouldn’t put stock into any books reviewed by Glenn Conley unless you see how your taste matches his reviews first. In my opinion, for the normal reader he is just too far off base- you’re out!
March 31, 2015
This is a book written by a guy you could meet in a bar on any night, and you very well might end up beating the shit out of him… or vice versa. His title tells us that he hates books. He reminds us repeatedly that he’s a jackass. But he does something that I would never do (besides telling every one that I hate books and that I’m a jackass). He FINISHES the books that he doesn’t like. Then he gives each one (I fucking hate this book) star, and goes on a rant about what’s wrong with them. That wouldn’t normally make sense, would it? To force yourself through books you hate just so you can piss all over them? Well maybe because, after reading some of his reviews, you begin to understand that he’s on a mission… he wants to discover, degrade, and humiliate certain kinds of books and their authors.
I give him points for style… haven’t seen so many fucking obscenities in book reviews in a long time. I also give him points for consistency. He does have standards and he holds to them in everything he writes. What does he value? Honesty I’d say above all else. If you promise bimbos in the title, you’d damn well better deliver them. If you give us a true bitch as one of your main characters (as in Gone Girl), you’d better give us the kind of ending she deserves (as almost all the readers I know want) not the whipped outcome that has her husband Nick kissing her ass and deciding to live with all her lies and bullshit. He likes violence and the sooner you get to it the better. (He gives Battle Royale 5 stars and tells us that it makes The Hunger Games look dull by comparison.)
My problem is that I haven’t read many of the books he reviews. Okay, I did read Gone Girl and The Diamond Age, which I like and he hates. I like Christopher Moore and – at least in the Moore books he reviews – we pretty much disagree on those too.
Bottom line: these reviews are honest, kick-ass, real. I know a dozen guys who give me these kinds of reviews verbally… a lot. It’s nice to see this stuff in print, and in a book that I can use to check on my latest reads… at least from the point of view of a book hating jackass.
I give a lot of very positive reviews. But then, when I find I hate a book that I’m reading, I stop reading it. This guy doesn’t. No wonder he’s pissed off.
I give him points for style… haven’t seen so many fucking obscenities in book reviews in a long time. I also give him points for consistency. He does have standards and he holds to them in everything he writes. What does he value? Honesty I’d say above all else. If you promise bimbos in the title, you’d damn well better deliver them. If you give us a true bitch as one of your main characters (as in Gone Girl), you’d better give us the kind of ending she deserves (as almost all the readers I know want) not the whipped outcome that has her husband Nick kissing her ass and deciding to live with all her lies and bullshit. He likes violence and the sooner you get to it the better. (He gives Battle Royale 5 stars and tells us that it makes The Hunger Games look dull by comparison.)
My problem is that I haven’t read many of the books he reviews. Okay, I did read Gone Girl and The Diamond Age, which I like and he hates. I like Christopher Moore and – at least in the Moore books he reviews – we pretty much disagree on those too.
Bottom line: these reviews are honest, kick-ass, real. I know a dozen guys who give me these kinds of reviews verbally… a lot. It’s nice to see this stuff in print, and in a book that I can use to check on my latest reads… at least from the point of view of a book hating jackass.
I give a lot of very positive reviews. But then, when I find I hate a book that I’m reading, I stop reading it. This guy doesn’t. No wonder he’s pissed off.
May 30, 2015
Glenn clearly does not hate books. In fact, the sheer number of books he reads and the passion with which his reviews are written indicate a deep appreciation for books. The downfall for Glenn is that Howard Stern was and is already the King of Shock. The reviews exhibited in Mr. Conley's book are sorted by ratings, yet all contain the same smarmy, obnoxious, foul-mouthed content from cover to cover, starting with poor ratings and concluding with excellent ratings. The comedic effect of such trash-talk wears off in the first five reviews. By the end, Glenn is ranting just as incoherently about how "gay" it is to love a book as much as he does-evidence again to the contrarian title. The concept of this approach holds great potential and perhaps in time Glenn will refine his presentation to actually be shocking, funny and original all at the same time. For now, this attempt fell flat. However, Mr. Conley isn't fooling anyone about his true love for books. This gives me great hope that he'll be able to overcome this bump in the road and produce a book that I'll be happy to rate as excellent. Feel free to read Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1: Brutally Honest Book Reviews at your own peril. More importantly, keep a close watch for Glenn's next attempt. There's a gold mine waiting for him to uncover it.
June 24, 2017
Mehreen Ahmed"s review
Really? Glenn Conley's, Glenn hates books---is a deviant,and humorless read of reviews. Ranging from 1 to 5 star reviews, this is a compilation of how he writes those reviews. What language should a one star attract and what sort of books according Glenn should attract a one star. While I hated his one star reviews, I loved his five stars. Riddled with many profanities, the 1 star reviews ignored completely the human faces sitting behind those books, engaged in the creative process of hard slog. His best review is, however, In The After. I felt I had to read the book.
It warrants a mention though that in his likes and dislikes of books, he only paraphrases stories. It is not a critical appreciation of any kind but based on superficial interpretation. His fascist treatment of books lends a view into his mind which is comparable to that of a Nazi. If he wrote a book as unusual as this, I would rather see more criticism than just a summery. A reviewer's job is to critique a book from a meta level. That's where the difference lies between critical reading and simplistic reading. A discerning reviewer, which he is clearly not, relies not on a knee jerk churlish tantrum, but a deep analysis of the text. Who gave him this right?
Really? Glenn Conley's, Glenn hates books---is a deviant,and humorless read of reviews. Ranging from 1 to 5 star reviews, this is a compilation of how he writes those reviews. What language should a one star attract and what sort of books according Glenn should attract a one star. While I hated his one star reviews, I loved his five stars. Riddled with many profanities, the 1 star reviews ignored completely the human faces sitting behind those books, engaged in the creative process of hard slog. His best review is, however, In The After. I felt I had to read the book.
It warrants a mention though that in his likes and dislikes of books, he only paraphrases stories. It is not a critical appreciation of any kind but based on superficial interpretation. His fascist treatment of books lends a view into his mind which is comparable to that of a Nazi. If he wrote a book as unusual as this, I would rather see more criticism than just a summery. A reviewer's job is to critique a book from a meta level. That's where the difference lies between critical reading and simplistic reading. A discerning reviewer, which he is clearly not, relies not on a knee jerk churlish tantrum, but a deep analysis of the text. Who gave him this right?
June 5, 2015
I would recommend this book to exactly zero people. It's so wildly offensive--and sickening--that people probably shouldn't even be exposed to it.
Glenn emailed me a few months ago, asking for a copy of my novel to review, and in turn asked me to review his recently-published work. I diligently started reading, only to bump across him saying how a 9-year-old boy deserved to be raped. What the actual fuck. Can we just stop there? Not only did he condone rape, but rape of a child.
I emailed Glenn saying that I wasn't really okay with that, that I don't find rape jokes funny (I wrote about it here: explaura.net/unfunny), and that if he couldn't control his impulse to talk about how authors and characters 'deserve' to be raped, then I'd prefer he didn't review my novel. I don't want to be associated with language like that in any way at all, because I don't find it funny.
"But he's only joking," you might argue--and sure, some people find jokes about sexual assault acceptable. But the thing is, as you go through the book, you notice themes--not only does Conley talk about people deserving rape, but also talks about their need to be 'fucked right in their dirty asshole', and tortured. In fact one of his key complaints about books is that there needs to be more gore and torture porn. Some of the things he said made me feel physically ill.
Overall, I don't think this book of reviews in any way provides useful insights into the texts addressed--rather, it serves as a character illustration of the man who composed the book. And I can only hope that I never meet such a man.
Glenn emailed me a few months ago, asking for a copy of my novel to review, and in turn asked me to review his recently-published work. I diligently started reading, only to bump across him saying how a 9-year-old boy deserved to be raped. What the actual fuck. Can we just stop there? Not only did he condone rape, but rape of a child.
I emailed Glenn saying that I wasn't really okay with that, that I don't find rape jokes funny (I wrote about it here: explaura.net/unfunny), and that if he couldn't control his impulse to talk about how authors and characters 'deserve' to be raped, then I'd prefer he didn't review my novel. I don't want to be associated with language like that in any way at all, because I don't find it funny.
"But he's only joking," you might argue--and sure, some people find jokes about sexual assault acceptable. But the thing is, as you go through the book, you notice themes--not only does Conley talk about people deserving rape, but also talks about their need to be 'fucked right in their dirty asshole', and tortured. In fact one of his key complaints about books is that there needs to be more gore and torture porn. Some of the things he said made me feel physically ill.
Overall, I don't think this book of reviews in any way provides useful insights into the texts addressed--rather, it serves as a character illustration of the man who composed the book. And I can only hope that I never meet such a man.
March 16, 2015
You shouldn’t read this book if you are an author and you think you’re talented and have something significant to offer the literary world.
You shouldn’t read this book if you have no sense of humour.
You shouldn’t read this book if you are easily offended by swearing (lots of it!).
And you probably shouldn’t read this book if you love books.
In fact, no one should read this book.
Well, except people like me with years of experience in the literary / author world who need a great laugh and a genuinely original perspective on the sort of crap that’s churned out in the name of literature today.
If you are like me, then go ahead and read it. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. You’ll squirm a little, you’ll grimace a bit; hell, you’ll even pull that funny frowny face I pull when I don’t like something. But I guarantee you’ll never read anything like this again. Well, not until volume 2 comes out. Which is why I’m writing this review. I received a copy of this swear-fest in exchange for an honest review. I have only written my review so Mr Conley’s completely subjective and truthful review of my book, Astro is Down in the Dumps, gets published in his next volume. (yeah, sure!)
That’s not true. Well, I did get a free copy of the book. I’d have to drive for two hours to the wharves to read / hear swearing like that so it saved me a long and costly trip. However, I did love this book and would have probably written a 5-suck up star review anyway. Not because I want to be in Mr Conley’s next book, mind you, but because this is an “effing” funny book and I loved it!
You shouldn’t read this book if you have no sense of humour.
You shouldn’t read this book if you are easily offended by swearing (lots of it!).
And you probably shouldn’t read this book if you love books.
In fact, no one should read this book.
Well, except people like me with years of experience in the literary / author world who need a great laugh and a genuinely original perspective on the sort of crap that’s churned out in the name of literature today.
If you are like me, then go ahead and read it. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. You’ll squirm a little, you’ll grimace a bit; hell, you’ll even pull that funny frowny face I pull when I don’t like something. But I guarantee you’ll never read anything like this again. Well, not until volume 2 comes out. Which is why I’m writing this review. I received a copy of this swear-fest in exchange for an honest review. I have only written my review so Mr Conley’s completely subjective and truthful review of my book, Astro is Down in the Dumps, gets published in his next volume. (yeah, sure!)
That’s not true. Well, I did get a free copy of the book. I’d have to drive for two hours to the wharves to read / hear swearing like that so it saved me a long and costly trip. However, I did love this book and would have probably written a 5-suck up star review anyway. Not because I want to be in Mr Conley’s next book, mind you, but because this is an “effing” funny book and I loved it!
March 6, 2015
This is a book of book reviews. Some profane (okay, almost all profane) and some thoughtful (not many). I give it two stars: one star because you can't give less than one and the second star because the reviews are funny. I could have given it three stars, but as many of the reviews lament the lack of violent sex in the books in question, I just can't take this volume that seriously. Book reviews should tell me something about the books in question, something that lets me know whether or not I want to read them. These reviews mostly tell me how much the author doesn't want to have sex with them.
The main reason I can't take the author seriously as a reviewer is his choice of books and his reactions to the ones he does choose. Many of the books are ones I wouldn't choose to read (horror, mostly) but, of those I would or have read, he hates them. Whereas what I would look for in a reviewer is an opinion that's close to mine on the books I've read so that I know I can trust their opinions to (possibly) match mine on the books I haven't read.
If you're going to read this book, read it for its amusement value only. Not for accurate book reviews.
The main reason I can't take the author seriously as a reviewer is his choice of books and his reactions to the ones he does choose. Many of the books are ones I wouldn't choose to read (horror, mostly) but, of those I would or have read, he hates them. Whereas what I would look for in a reviewer is an opinion that's close to mine on the books I've read so that I know I can trust their opinions to (possibly) match mine on the books I haven't read.
If you're going to read this book, read it for its amusement value only. Not for accurate book reviews.
April 17, 2015
Disclaimer: if you haven’t read one of Glenn Conley’s reviews, you won’t get this review because it is done in a Glenn Conley style.
Disclaimer 2: By clicking the spoiler, you will be acknowledging your acceptance of lewd, over-the-top profanity, characteristic of a Glenn Conley review, and proof that you are one damn sicko.
Disclaimer 3: This is a review of a review book by a reviewer who writes reviews. The author, a reviewer, asked for a review of his reviews in exchange for an honest review. Got it? The reviewer reviewed his own book of reviews and gave it a 3. That review cracked me up. Here’s the review of his reviews.
Disclaimer 2: By clicking the spoiler, you will be acknowledging your acceptance of lewd, over-the-top profanity, characteristic of a Glenn Conley review, and proof that you are one damn sicko.
Disclaimer 3: This is a review of a review book by a reviewer who writes reviews. The author, a reviewer, asked for a review of his reviews in exchange for an honest review. Got it? The reviewer reviewed his own book of reviews and gave it a 3. That review cracked me up. Here’s the review of his reviews.
March 17, 2015
I don't know Glenn personally. Nor was I, in any way, asked to give a review for this book. I just happened to stumble upon it on Kindle Unlimited and give the thing a shot.
Well, actually, not all of that is true. The not being paid or asked for an honest review is, but I did know about this book, and I do know Glenn...sort of. Like I said, I don't know the guy personally, but ever since he liked one of my reviews on Bentley Little's "The Vanishing" (we both HATE the author), I've found myself following his sarcastic, bashing, and still humorous reviews here on Goodreads. It's true, I've read a good majority of his more recent reviews, and a lot of those are collected here in this ebook, but there's still a lot of good, juicy, detailed critiques that I have never seen.
Seriously, when it comes to finding new ways to show hatred for books, you can't look much further than Glenn
Some of my favorite examples from this book include:
-"This book should be pissed on, then stomped on until your feet hurt." ( A Map of Key's Face )
- "If this is the extent of the authors imagination, it's f*cking pathetic." ( The Year of Dan Palace )
- "If this was an actual book, and not a Kindle book, I would have torn each page out, and put it through the shredder. Just so nobody else would accidentally read it."( The Year of Dan Palace )
- "It's Like nipple clamps [...] But it's nipple clamps on my brain." ( The Martian )
- "Unfortunately, this book isn't about about porn, which is very sad". ( The London Project )
- "There was so much love, and nakedness, and sweet girl-on-girl action, I think I even got a mild chubby, reading that bit". ( Every Day )
- "How the hell is Iraq still a country? It should be a smoldering ruin by now, goddamnit. We've got thousands of nukes just laying around doing nothing. It's time we laid some waste. ( Ghost Country )
- "I'm an adult, I think. I may have the mental capacity of a stupid 5 year old, but at least I don't poop my pants very often." ( The Ability )
- "Please excuse me whilst I wipe my bum with this stupid story." ( Killing the Dead )
- "After reading this book, I wanted to read everything Michael Lewis ever wrote. Then, I found out he loves baseball, or some shit, and wrote a bunch of baseball books. F*ck that shit. Baseball sucks." ( The New New Thing )
There's a lot more. Afterall, there's over 100 books that Glenn either loves to hate (a LOT), or hates to love (very FEW), but either way, if you aren't easily offended, and can laugh at the pure hatred and anger of Mr. Conley, well, you shouldn't look anywhere else.
And if this is only volume one, I'm both excited and scared for what comes next.
Bravo Glenn. Bravo!
Well, actually, not all of that is true. The not being paid or asked for an honest review is, but I did know about this book, and I do know Glenn...sort of. Like I said, I don't know the guy personally, but ever since he liked one of my reviews on Bentley Little's "The Vanishing" (we both HATE the author), I've found myself following his sarcastic, bashing, and still humorous reviews here on Goodreads. It's true, I've read a good majority of his more recent reviews, and a lot of those are collected here in this ebook, but there's still a lot of good, juicy, detailed critiques that I have never seen.
Seriously, when it comes to finding new ways to show hatred for books, you can't look much further than Glenn
Some of my favorite examples from this book include:
-"This book should be pissed on, then stomped on until your feet hurt." ( A Map of Key's Face )
- "If this is the extent of the authors imagination, it's f*cking pathetic." ( The Year of Dan Palace )
- "If this was an actual book, and not a Kindle book, I would have torn each page out, and put it through the shredder. Just so nobody else would accidentally read it."( The Year of Dan Palace )
- "It's Like nipple clamps [...] But it's nipple clamps on my brain." ( The Martian )
- "Unfortunately, this book isn't about about porn, which is very sad". ( The London Project )
- "There was so much love, and nakedness, and sweet girl-on-girl action, I think I even got a mild chubby, reading that bit". ( Every Day )
- "How the hell is Iraq still a country? It should be a smoldering ruin by now, goddamnit. We've got thousands of nukes just laying around doing nothing. It's time we laid some waste. ( Ghost Country )
- "I'm an adult, I think. I may have the mental capacity of a stupid 5 year old, but at least I don't poop my pants very often." ( The Ability )
- "Please excuse me whilst I wipe my bum with this stupid story." ( Killing the Dead )
- "After reading this book, I wanted to read everything Michael Lewis ever wrote. Then, I found out he loves baseball, or some shit, and wrote a bunch of baseball books. F*ck that shit. Baseball sucks." ( The New New Thing )
There's a lot more. Afterall, there's over 100 books that Glenn either loves to hate (a LOT), or hates to love (very FEW), but either way, if you aren't easily offended, and can laugh at the pure hatred and anger of Mr. Conley, well, you shouldn't look anywhere else.
And if this is only volume one, I'm both excited and scared for what comes next.
Bravo Glenn. Bravo!
April 21, 2015
Ok, this is a first for me - a book review about book reviews.
This is possibly one of the hardest reviews I've ever had to do, so bear with me.
Glenn Conley has put together a collection of over 100 book reviews.
The Good
I like reviews. I confess that every time I want to waste a little time (usually when I'm supposed to be editing), I click through the reviews on my Goodreads news feed; then do that addictive thing of looking at other reviews for those books, because I'm curious about one reaction or other by the reviewer.
It could be because they were doing back-flips and shouting from the rooftops how amazing the book was; or they were banging their head against the wall and cursing every page. I'll be honest - I've done the same when reviewing.
Glenn Conley provides an array of both extremes, and everything in between.
I will warn you now, this book contains a lot of foul language. If you can't handle that, go read something else.
His reviews are very blunt, he doesn't sugar-coat his opinions at any point. But even with the coarseness of language and views; Conley's work has a certain flow and a definite humour to it. You get the immediate sense that this isn't meant to be taken seriously. Conley is not dictating what we should and should not read; he's simply providing entertainment and honesty.
The Bad
The concept.
I think the concept is quite lazy. Conley has taken about 100 reviews that he has done in the past. They have been split into 5 sections: 1 star; 2 star; 3 star; 4 star; 5 star.
This meant that it was somewhat repetitive. I think I would have preferred a mix, so the reader doesn't know what's coming next. But something logical - so maybe, a well-done sci-fi, followed by a badly done one etc.
Also, there's nothing here that you can't find by following Glenn on Goodreads, or on his blog.
A) Why would you pay £1.49 on Amazon, for something that you could read for free?
B) I think I actually prefer his Goodreads and blog reviews because it's so much easier to link to the books that you want to buy/read further reviews of. They also enable you to strike up a conversation or debate. A book (even an ebook with all the modern tech snaziness) is so flat in comparison.
Maybe if there was something more than a copy and paste of Conley's reviews. Maybe if there were blog-style posts that were unique to the book; or even better, something autobiographical over how he went from being a book hater, to this person who is so passionate in his opinion of books, along with the books that spurred him on the way. I'm not really into my non-fiction, but Conley is a funny and expressive guy, I would definitely give that a read.
This is possibly one of the hardest reviews I've ever had to do, so bear with me.
Glenn Conley has put together a collection of over 100 book reviews.
The Good
I like reviews. I confess that every time I want to waste a little time (usually when I'm supposed to be editing), I click through the reviews on my Goodreads news feed; then do that addictive thing of looking at other reviews for those books, because I'm curious about one reaction or other by the reviewer.
It could be because they were doing back-flips and shouting from the rooftops how amazing the book was; or they were banging their head against the wall and cursing every page. I'll be honest - I've done the same when reviewing.
Glenn Conley provides an array of both extremes, and everything in between.
I will warn you now, this book contains a lot of foul language. If you can't handle that, go read something else.
His reviews are very blunt, he doesn't sugar-coat his opinions at any point. But even with the coarseness of language and views; Conley's work has a certain flow and a definite humour to it. You get the immediate sense that this isn't meant to be taken seriously. Conley is not dictating what we should and should not read; he's simply providing entertainment and honesty.
The Bad
The concept.
I think the concept is quite lazy. Conley has taken about 100 reviews that he has done in the past. They have been split into 5 sections: 1 star; 2 star; 3 star; 4 star; 5 star.
This meant that it was somewhat repetitive. I think I would have preferred a mix, so the reader doesn't know what's coming next. But something logical - so maybe, a well-done sci-fi, followed by a badly done one etc.
Also, there's nothing here that you can't find by following Glenn on Goodreads, or on his blog.
A) Why would you pay £1.49 on Amazon, for something that you could read for free?
B) I think I actually prefer his Goodreads and blog reviews because it's so much easier to link to the books that you want to buy/read further reviews of. They also enable you to strike up a conversation or debate. A book (even an ebook with all the modern tech snaziness) is so flat in comparison.
Maybe if there was something more than a copy and paste of Conley's reviews. Maybe if there were blog-style posts that were unique to the book; or even better, something autobiographical over how he went from being a book hater, to this person who is so passionate in his opinion of books, along with the books that spurred him on the way. I'm not really into my non-fiction, but Conley is a funny and expressive guy, I would definitely give that a read.
June 22, 2018
I was on Glenn’s blog and a few of his reviews made me laugh. I like reading book reviews almost as much as writing books, so I clicked the button to follow his blog. Then something strange happened. I found myself on Amazon.com, mesmerized by the cover of this book.
They say “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I do what I want. The flaming book cover made me want to buy this book even though my internal monologue was advising against it. “Lindsay, this book is just a copy and paste of reviews from his blog.” “I know, but the flames.”
I’m not sure if it’s by accident, or design, but this book actually plays out like a novel. It isn’t just a copy paste from his blog. There was page turning intrigue, conflict, and resolution. By the time you get to the end, where Glenn actually likes books, it feels like delicious, satisfying resolution.
I just cringed when I wrote the word delicious in the context of writing about this book. Ewww. There is nothing delicious about this book. Half of this book involves Glenn eliciting hardcore rapey pornographic imagery. I learned early on that the last paragraph of Glenn’s reviews is where he usually talks about buttholes, and to skim over.
I get it. Glenn loves cussing, murder, gore, Christian bashing, and rapey porn. It has shock value and some people like that sort of thing. I don’t really care for it, but I love reviews of books. The thing is, if you read through the shock value, Glenn is actually a good reviewer of books.
Should Glenn clean up his potty mouth and start writing PG reviews? I don’t think so. Glenn has built a brand around the way he talks. It’s what he does.
Circling back to the way this book plays out like a novel. Glenn set the stage with his one star reviews. By the way Glenn talks, you’d think he licks the blood of humans off of his knife while he feeds on them for breakfast. I’m not going to list out all the intrigue because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. However, early on, Glenn slips and reveals that he has a wife. This wife comment made me think “I bet Glenn eats waffles!”
If this book were just a copy paste of his reviews from his blog, I’d probably hate it. I wouldn’t even bother reviewing it, because I don’t usually leave a review unless I’m going to leave four or five stars. However, this book gets five stars from me because I’m really impressed by what this book did.
After reading this book, I’m still left with the feeling that someone rubbed a gas station toilet brush all over my face. I don’t think I can take enough showers to get the icky off. Take this as a warning. You probably don’t want to read this book.
They say “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I do what I want. The flaming book cover made me want to buy this book even though my internal monologue was advising against it. “Lindsay, this book is just a copy and paste of reviews from his blog.” “I know, but the flames.”
I’m not sure if it’s by accident, or design, but this book actually plays out like a novel. It isn’t just a copy paste from his blog. There was page turning intrigue, conflict, and resolution. By the time you get to the end, where Glenn actually likes books, it feels like delicious, satisfying resolution.
I just cringed when I wrote the word delicious in the context of writing about this book. Ewww. There is nothing delicious about this book. Half of this book involves Glenn eliciting hardcore rapey pornographic imagery. I learned early on that the last paragraph of Glenn’s reviews is where he usually talks about buttholes, and to skim over.
I get it. Glenn loves cussing, murder, gore, Christian bashing, and rapey porn. It has shock value and some people like that sort of thing. I don’t really care for it, but I love reviews of books. The thing is, if you read through the shock value, Glenn is actually a good reviewer of books.
Should Glenn clean up his potty mouth and start writing PG reviews? I don’t think so. Glenn has built a brand around the way he talks. It’s what he does.
Circling back to the way this book plays out like a novel. Glenn set the stage with his one star reviews. By the way Glenn talks, you’d think he licks the blood of humans off of his knife while he feeds on them for breakfast. I’m not going to list out all the intrigue because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone. However, early on, Glenn slips and reveals that he has a wife. This wife comment made me think “I bet Glenn eats waffles!”
If this book were just a copy paste of his reviews from his blog, I’d probably hate it. I wouldn’t even bother reviewing it, because I don’t usually leave a review unless I’m going to leave four or five stars. However, this book gets five stars from me because I’m really impressed by what this book did.
After reading this book, I’m still left with the feeling that someone rubbed a gas station toilet brush all over my face. I don’t think I can take enough showers to get the icky off. Take this as a warning. You probably don’t want to read this book.
March 20, 2015
Glenn Hates Books
Brutally Honest Reviews - Vol. 1
by Glenn Conley
4-Stars
This is the first time I’ve reviewed a book about book reviews. If you are an avid gamer, you may recall video-bloggers named the Angry-Video-Game Nerd, Zero-Punctuation-Guy and the Nostalgia-Critic. It seems to me, Glenn-Hates-Books is in the same category, only for books, not movies and games.
Most interesting here is Glenn’s criteria for stars. This the exact thought process most of us go through when deciding on how to rate a movie on Netflix. Unfortunately though, there is no provision for “it’s so bad, it’s good.” I guess books don’t really work that way.
Profanity aside, and there’s plenty here, I laughed out loud many times, chuckled and smiled frequently. Some of these reviews are often hilarious, all of them qualify as stream-of-consciousness rants. I feel a bit guilty for laughing at other authors— writing a book, good or bad— is hard work. If you are the author of one of these 1-star beauties, I can only hope you wrote under a pseudo name.
And, perhaps I’m a man of extremes, as I enjoyed the 1-star reviews and the 5-start reviews the most. I’ll admit I got a little bogged down in the reviews bearing 2 to 4 stars. Maybe Volume 2 will rectify this.
Glenn, the man who “hates books…” though telling you why qualifies as a spoiler alert… Oh, and, writers beware! Glenn is looking to review your book to… so write well.
Full disclosure:
I was approached by Mr Conley to review one of my books… What? A book review by a guy who hates books— Hmm, what could go wrong? As of this writing, I’m waiting with some trepidation.
Brutally Honest Reviews - Vol. 1
by Glenn Conley
4-Stars
This is the first time I’ve reviewed a book about book reviews. If you are an avid gamer, you may recall video-bloggers named the Angry-Video-Game Nerd, Zero-Punctuation-Guy and the Nostalgia-Critic. It seems to me, Glenn-Hates-Books is in the same category, only for books, not movies and games.
Most interesting here is Glenn’s criteria for stars. This the exact thought process most of us go through when deciding on how to rate a movie on Netflix. Unfortunately though, there is no provision for “it’s so bad, it’s good.” I guess books don’t really work that way.
Profanity aside, and there’s plenty here, I laughed out loud many times, chuckled and smiled frequently. Some of these reviews are often hilarious, all of them qualify as stream-of-consciousness rants. I feel a bit guilty for laughing at other authors— writing a book, good or bad— is hard work. If you are the author of one of these 1-star beauties, I can only hope you wrote under a pseudo name.
And, perhaps I’m a man of extremes, as I enjoyed the 1-star reviews and the 5-start reviews the most. I’ll admit I got a little bogged down in the reviews bearing 2 to 4 stars. Maybe Volume 2 will rectify this.
Glenn, the man who “hates books…” though telling you why qualifies as a spoiler alert… Oh, and, writers beware! Glenn is looking to review your book to… so write well.
Full disclosure:
I was approached by Mr Conley to review one of my books… What? A book review by a guy who hates books— Hmm, what could go wrong? As of this writing, I’m waiting with some trepidation.
March 28, 2015
In many respects this book is a breath of foul mouthed fresh air, the perfect antidote to overly pretentious literary reviews. This is a guy, who like most readers, is interested in characters and plot and wants above all to be moved and entertained, given a reason to keep reading, and woe betide any author who doesn’t do that.
Brutally honest and in your face, Conley has his own unique style that sticks a finger up at all and everyone. At first it felt like sticking my face into a buzz saw (especially as the collection begins with furious, spittle flying one star reviews) yet once I became accustomed it became quite entertaining, although I did feel sympathy for some of the targets, especially the less successful authors. I think a good testament to this collection is that I just wanted to keep on reading and reading and then suddenly I was at the end. How many review collections could claim that?
Personally however, I found the foul language over the top (I’ve never been a fan of the “c” word, which peppers the collection and believe the “f” word should be used strategically) as I feel the reviewer could easily achieve the same irreverence and level of humour without so much cussing. In my opinion Conley has a unique, raw, darkly comedic style but needs to shave the more unsavoury edges off. Saying that however, I can easily imagine the author’s response if someone were to make this point, something along the lines of, “f**k you, c**t, go and f**k yourself up your dirty a** hole.”
Irreverent, brutal, honest, fair and almost homicidal in equal degrees, I’d like to see this guy with his own cable show, although the bleep machine would have its work cut out.
Brutally honest and in your face, Conley has his own unique style that sticks a finger up at all and everyone. At first it felt like sticking my face into a buzz saw (especially as the collection begins with furious, spittle flying one star reviews) yet once I became accustomed it became quite entertaining, although I did feel sympathy for some of the targets, especially the less successful authors. I think a good testament to this collection is that I just wanted to keep on reading and reading and then suddenly I was at the end. How many review collections could claim that?
Personally however, I found the foul language over the top (I’ve never been a fan of the “c” word, which peppers the collection and believe the “f” word should be used strategically) as I feel the reviewer could easily achieve the same irreverence and level of humour without so much cussing. In my opinion Conley has a unique, raw, darkly comedic style but needs to shave the more unsavoury edges off. Saying that however, I can easily imagine the author’s response if someone were to make this point, something along the lines of, “f**k you, c**t, go and f**k yourself up your dirty a** hole.”
Irreverent, brutal, honest, fair and almost homicidal in equal degrees, I’d like to see this guy with his own cable show, although the bleep machine would have its work cut out.
March 19, 2015
I really didn't know what I was getting into when I agreed to review this book. As it is an accumulation of around one hundred book reviews that have been written by Glenn Conley, it really doesn't fit into the usual idea of what a book is and certainly not within the realm of what I would usually read. Still I took it on and in the end found that I read it quickly and actually enjoyed it. Sure there was an over abundance of unnecessary swearing, but I was fully warned in the beginning so it wasn't a surprise and I am not put off by reading what many would call foul language.
What I did find was that the reviews were for the most part very funny and well written. If Conley says it's a one or two star book, it sure sounded as if he meant it but he also had a number of three, four and five star books as well. I think I will keep this book handy as a go to resource and check to see if he has read the book before I buy it. He tells it as he sees it and leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Having said that the only reason it doesn't rate higher is because it is a little too repetitive as only a large number of book reviews could be. It might have been better as a listing of books in alphabetical order by author. Then a one star could be followed by a five star and kept some of the repetitiveness down. As an author I now wonder how he would review my book. A little scary but I would at get what would only be an honest review.
I was given a copy of this book for evaluation and an unbiased review
What I did find was that the reviews were for the most part very funny and well written. If Conley says it's a one or two star book, it sure sounded as if he meant it but he also had a number of three, four and five star books as well. I think I will keep this book handy as a go to resource and check to see if he has read the book before I buy it. He tells it as he sees it and leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Having said that the only reason it doesn't rate higher is because it is a little too repetitive as only a large number of book reviews could be. It might have been better as a listing of books in alphabetical order by author. Then a one star could be followed by a five star and kept some of the repetitiveness down. As an author I now wonder how he would review my book. A little scary but I would at get what would only be an honest review.
I was given a copy of this book for evaluation and an unbiased review
March 24, 2015
A book hater, who writes a book, hmmm.....
So when asked to review this I thought why the hell not, although personally I thought he was far to nice to Gone Girl. That flaming pile of shit was a complete waste of my fuckin time but whatever.
Some of the reviews were pretty fuckin hilarious, some rather disturbing, animal fucking seems to be a rather common occurrence in his book selection, lots of lacking psychopaths, and rape but not rape. Acid would greatly improve a lot of these books.
But seriously I'm left wondering what the fuck would make a person want to read about 90% of those books. More power to you Glenn, cause I woulda said fuck it and burn the shit before finishing most of it.
Honesty is refreshing, even if it borders on incessant ramblings of a mad man who's definitely not a psychopath according to a test provided by one of his reads.
Challenge:* A memoir*
So when asked to review this I thought why the hell not, although personally I thought he was far to nice to Gone Girl. That flaming pile of shit was a complete waste of my fuckin time but whatever.
Some of the reviews were pretty fuckin hilarious, some rather disturbing, animal fucking seems to be a rather common occurrence in his book selection, lots of lacking psychopaths, and rape but not rape. Acid would greatly improve a lot of these books.
But seriously I'm left wondering what the fuck would make a person want to read about 90% of those books. More power to you Glenn, cause I woulda said fuck it and burn the shit before finishing most of it.
Honesty is refreshing, even if it borders on incessant ramblings of a mad man who's definitely not a psychopath according to a test provided by one of his reads.
Challenge:* A memoir*
March 25, 2015
Glenn Conley is a damn fun writer. He knows how to turn a sentence into a surprise. That's real talent. In the back of this book he says he wrote stories--I want him to write stories. But he says he was twelve and they sucked. For the love of Hercules, you were twelve, of course they're going to suck. Write some more. With boobs and bazookas and suchlike. Because you've got talent at the sentence level.
Reading these reviews, honestly, was more fun than I've had reading a lot of novels lately. I've bookmarked all over the place stuff to read but especially a bunch of the five stars--definitely I am going to check out this C.J. Anderson I'd never heard of.
The reviews were a great read, a pleasure. A summary of the story, some good, sweetly hinted at suggestions of how the story might have added a disembowelment or some tension. Very nice. I laughed aloud on many occasions. And I am sorta writing like you, get out of my head!
So to sum up, Glenn Conley is a natural writer and this book is better than a lot of novels. Also, enjoyed the use of the term 'crotch fruit' in the Dan Brown review. I would like 'crotch fruit' in all my Dan Brown reviews.
Reading these reviews, honestly, was more fun than I've had reading a lot of novels lately. I've bookmarked all over the place stuff to read but especially a bunch of the five stars--definitely I am going to check out this C.J. Anderson I'd never heard of.
The reviews were a great read, a pleasure. A summary of the story, some good, sweetly hinted at suggestions of how the story might have added a disembowelment or some tension. Very nice. I laughed aloud on many occasions. And I am sorta writing like you, get out of my head!
So to sum up, Glenn Conley is a natural writer and this book is better than a lot of novels. Also, enjoyed the use of the term 'crotch fruit' in the Dan Brown review. I would like 'crotch fruit' in all my Dan Brown reviews.
March 21, 2015
Glenn doesn't really hate books. At least, not all of them. But the ones he does not like he gleefully rips to pieces, and usually picks nits even with the books on which he bestows 5-star reviews. His "low-brow" approach reminds me sharply of Joe-Bob Briggs, the fictional drive-in movie critic from Rockwall, Texas who reviewed movies in a now defunct newspaper, the Dallas Times Herald. Except Joe-Bob couldn't use any profanity because his work appeared in a family newspaper. Glenn labors under no such restraints, and he lets fly with the expletives whenever it suits him. A few of these review are laugh-out-loud funny, and he makes some great points about why he consider a book good or why he does not. In fact, he's a lot more lucid about what works and what does not work in a novel than many of the editors who rejected my work and tried but failed to explain their reasoning. These reviews are not for the faint of heart!
March 24, 2015
I wasn’t sure what to expect with this book of reviews...just reviews? Oh no! There is plenty to absorb in each short review. But however you want to put it…it’s done in brutal honesty. While reading, I had the feeling I was watching my favorite comedian Lewis Black on stage! Hilarious! The assessments are quick and to the point so you can read through them rather quickly – which makes you want to keep on going to get to those 5 star reviews! Glenn lays it out with his expressive nature, and he does not mince! He lets you know WHY this book took a nosedive. If you don’t mind the colorful cussing, and you want an honest, humorous read, then this is for you. I came away satisfied that Glenn really doesn’t hate ALL books, and I look forward to reading more from him…bad language and all.
March 10, 2015
Glen is a very angry man. If profanity offends you, don’t read this.
Saying that, my seventeen year old son thought it was great. He’d quite like to keep Glen in his backpack to pull out when people annoy him just so Glen could swear at them. The three star rating is a cross between his enthusiasm, and me quaking in my boots.
I’m an author…
March 28, 2015
“Here is my book: Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1. It's a collection of hilarious book reviews that are sure to amuse you. That is, if you have a sick sense of humor, as I do.”
Well, Mr. Conley warned me. His reviews are definitely not for the faint of heart.
I’ll begin by saying that I found this a hard book to review. How do you critique a book containing the author’s feelings and opinions about what he’s read? And, if he chose to express those opinions in the most prickly and colorful way possible, to the point I sometimes feared my reader would spontaneously combust, what of it? People can write what they want, right?
Conley reviews books of all types and genres, from literary fiction to Young Adult, science fiction and some fantasy. There are also a few books included that I wish I hadn’t learned about—there really are some sick puppies out there writing about some sick stuff. There were times when, after closing my reader for the day, I actually felt nauseous. That said, there were a few novels that piqued my interest and, if I run across them while browsing, I just might pick them up.
So, the first half or so of the book was dedicated to the 1-3 star rated novels. These sections were the most difficult to read because of the profanity. Until I read this book, I had no idea there were so many colorful ways to use the F-word--as both an insult and a verb--to express how terrible something was. However, underneath all that I noted that Conley had some valid points: Why would anyone enjoy a novel with no story, or tension or conflict? Wouldn’t I be annoyed if something billed as a novel was in fact only a novelette? Or what about novels filled with characters no one cares about? Or the prequels or sequels that inexplicably have no connection to the original novel—the one I liked so much I decided to spend money on said prequel or sequel? These were all important issues that can make--or break--a book.
Books Conley did like were written up with thoughtful commentary, including why he thought the book was successful. Thankfully, these reviews were presented with less profanity and—this made me laugh--even grudging admiration.
Curious? I’d suggest first checking out the rating system to get a taste of what you’re in for. I read it to my sister and she laughed, saying she would read the book just because of it.
I would recommend this book to someone who is not easily offended and who can appreciate the book for what it is: one man’s very honest opinion about books. I found the last section, where he shares about his background and relationship with books, to be equally interesting. It helps explain the book’s context, which suggests the spirit in which it should be received.
Well, Mr. Conley warned me. His reviews are definitely not for the faint of heart.
I’ll begin by saying that I found this a hard book to review. How do you critique a book containing the author’s feelings and opinions about what he’s read? And, if he chose to express those opinions in the most prickly and colorful way possible, to the point I sometimes feared my reader would spontaneously combust, what of it? People can write what they want, right?
Conley reviews books of all types and genres, from literary fiction to Young Adult, science fiction and some fantasy. There are also a few books included that I wish I hadn’t learned about—there really are some sick puppies out there writing about some sick stuff. There were times when, after closing my reader for the day, I actually felt nauseous. That said, there were a few novels that piqued my interest and, if I run across them while browsing, I just might pick them up.
So, the first half or so of the book was dedicated to the 1-3 star rated novels. These sections were the most difficult to read because of the profanity. Until I read this book, I had no idea there were so many colorful ways to use the F-word--as both an insult and a verb--to express how terrible something was. However, underneath all that I noted that Conley had some valid points: Why would anyone enjoy a novel with no story, or tension or conflict? Wouldn’t I be annoyed if something billed as a novel was in fact only a novelette? Or what about novels filled with characters no one cares about? Or the prequels or sequels that inexplicably have no connection to the original novel—the one I liked so much I decided to spend money on said prequel or sequel? These were all important issues that can make--or break--a book.
Books Conley did like were written up with thoughtful commentary, including why he thought the book was successful. Thankfully, these reviews were presented with less profanity and—this made me laugh--even grudging admiration.
Curious? I’d suggest first checking out the rating system to get a taste of what you’re in for. I read it to my sister and she laughed, saying she would read the book just because of it.
I would recommend this book to someone who is not easily offended and who can appreciate the book for what it is: one man’s very honest opinion about books. I found the last section, where he shares about his background and relationship with books, to be equally interesting. It helps explain the book’s context, which suggests the spirit in which it should be received.
March 21, 2015
The title of this book could be “Glenn’s Quest for Books Worth Reading”. Obviously, he doesn’t hate the idea of books, because he spends so much time reading them. But often he doesn’t like what he finds - flaws. And while his profane language might give the impression he doesn’t care, I think he cares very much. Why else would he say, “It’s really sad that Dan Brown’s books have become so formulaic”?
This book comprises Glenn’s reviews of a range of well known and unknown books. He begins with the One Star books and works his way up to the Five Star books. This structure works because the One and Two Star reviews are hilarious and then finally you get to the Five Star reviews. But if you’re easily offended, don’t read this book. “I want a reason to care about these f...ing idiots” is one of his very mild responses. It’s not all laugh out loud material; he has a tendency to use violent, graphic imagery.
Aside from that, Glenn understands the art of storytelling and has an ability to pinpoint weaknesses in a story. In his brutally honest style, he’ll tell you if there’s no story, the dialogue is all the same, there’s no conflict, the plot lacks credibility or the story doesn’t live up to the promise made to the reader at the beginning of the book. Such as, “Our first person narrator avoided conflict at all costs. Now this is fine in a real-world situation.” He also has an knack for summing up a book, “This novella is just a very poor episode of The Walking Dead.”
My problem with the reviews are there are so many spoilers. Reviews aren’t meant to give away the ending. His often do, but then it’s difficult to imagine the book being so funny if he didn’t rant and rave about the unforgivable ending of Gone Girl.
Finally, there’s eleven Five Star reviews. If Glenn can’t find a fault in a book, it must be an awesome book.
Writers (me included) would do well to imagine that Glenn will review our books. Then we’re less likely to publish before our stories are great.
This is a unique book. For the following reasons I’m giving this book Five Stars: it made me laugh so much; it’s helping readers sort the rubbish from the gems; in our politically correct world, the brutal honesty is so refreshing; and this book should help writers strive to do better.
This book comprises Glenn’s reviews of a range of well known and unknown books. He begins with the One Star books and works his way up to the Five Star books. This structure works because the One and Two Star reviews are hilarious and then finally you get to the Five Star reviews. But if you’re easily offended, don’t read this book. “I want a reason to care about these f...ing idiots” is one of his very mild responses. It’s not all laugh out loud material; he has a tendency to use violent, graphic imagery.
Aside from that, Glenn understands the art of storytelling and has an ability to pinpoint weaknesses in a story. In his brutally honest style, he’ll tell you if there’s no story, the dialogue is all the same, there’s no conflict, the plot lacks credibility or the story doesn’t live up to the promise made to the reader at the beginning of the book. Such as, “Our first person narrator avoided conflict at all costs. Now this is fine in a real-world situation.” He also has an knack for summing up a book, “This novella is just a very poor episode of The Walking Dead.”
My problem with the reviews are there are so many spoilers. Reviews aren’t meant to give away the ending. His often do, but then it’s difficult to imagine the book being so funny if he didn’t rant and rave about the unforgivable ending of Gone Girl.
Finally, there’s eleven Five Star reviews. If Glenn can’t find a fault in a book, it must be an awesome book.
Writers (me included) would do well to imagine that Glenn will review our books. Then we’re less likely to publish before our stories are great.
This is a unique book. For the following reasons I’m giving this book Five Stars: it made me laugh so much; it’s helping readers sort the rubbish from the gems; in our politically correct world, the brutal honesty is so refreshing; and this book should help writers strive to do better.
March 22, 2015
First of all, Glenn doesn’t hate books, just poorly written ones. Glen Conly’s book of reviews ranges and rages from one-star vitriolic personal attacks on authors to five-star honest, accurate and insightful observations. If suggesting an author deserves anal or oral rape doesn’t offend you, then this is your five-star compilation of reviews. If you can get past more blatant pornographic exposition and language than the average Marine drill-instructor uses, then this is your book. I believe this author’s excesses may cause him to miss an opportunity for his work to become a best-selling series. Granted 90% of the self-published works out there offer a fertile bed of manure in which Conly revels with hilarity, but he caters only to sci-fi, dystopian, porn, fantasy and post-apocalyptic works. I couldn’t help but think what wonderfully hilarious observations he might have of some so-called “literary” works where authors look like Russian gymnasts with wardrobe malfunctions. Pat Conroy’s “South of Broad” and John Green’s “looking for alaska” are prime examples where the writing is phenomenal until one realizes there’s this big elephant standing in the room, because many of the characters are high school kids talking with the insight and depth of Bohemians on the left bank. Or Ben Fountain’s “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk,” where the author opens every jar on the literary spice rack, dumping the entire lot in the mix. Reading it was like watching the aforementioned Russian gymnast perform in a pink tutu with flowers in her hair. Glenn Conly could have the high-brow snoots of academia leaping in horror from their ivy walls. I believe Conly has a tremendous opportunity to produce a series of mixed genre reviews with broad appeal, if he can minus much of the pornographic description, language and personal attacks. I believe like many comedians, such as Red Foxx and Richard Pryor who began their careers with sewer-pipe humor, Glenn Conly has an opportunity to reach a new level of sophistication with his humor, thus garnering wider appeal. It is a shame that so many idiots can so easily publish so much crap these days, but I see a new generation of gate-keepers like Conly discarding the politically-correct niceties for more pointed and unbiased reviews. I wish him all the best.
March 22, 2015
Recently I was approached by Glenn to review my book, The Letters and when he mentioned his book, I agreed to review it. I must say I was more at ease with agreeing to review his book than I was to let him review mine. And the reviews in this book (and the ones on his blog/Goodreads) are precisely the reason why I was scared to let him review my book.
Glenn claims to hate books. If you read just his one-star reviews, you might really believe that he is telling the truth. He's not, though. I'm on to him. Glenn doesn't hate books. He actually really likes and that's why he's so damn critical of what is put in front of him. His attitude towards books starts changing in his three-star reviews and by the five-star reviews, Glenn's affection for books really shines through. He loves 'em.
I will say these reviews are not for the faint of heart, though. Or for anyone offended by foul language or jokes that can be a homophobic or make light of sexual assault. I honestly cannot say that I found all of Glenn's jokes funny but I didn't take them to heart, either. Yes, he's crass and abrasive but his tone is full of humor. You can tell that he doesn't really want to "ass-rape" an author but you can feel his frustration at how amazingly awful the author has managed to write the book. If Gordon Ramsey and a sailor were to have a love child and that love child grew up to review books, it would be Glenn. That is the best way I can describe his reviews. He gets incredibly frustrated with how much a book sucks and lets them have it. Which, being completely honest, some authors really need a review that scathing.
"Brutally Honest Book Reviews" is not a lie. It tells you everything you need to know about this book before you even open it. And yet, I was still surprised by just how brutally honest they were. And that is why Glenn is now on my list of Go-To reviewers when I'm interested in a book. If he says it sucks, I'm probably not going to waste my time reading it. You can also use his book to play a drinking game. Take a drink every time you see the word 'fuck' and you should be good and schnockered before you ever even get to the three-star reviews!
Glenn claims to hate books. If you read just his one-star reviews, you might really believe that he is telling the truth. He's not, though. I'm on to him. Glenn doesn't hate books. He actually really likes and that's why he's so damn critical of what is put in front of him. His attitude towards books starts changing in his three-star reviews and by the five-star reviews, Glenn's affection for books really shines through. He loves 'em.
I will say these reviews are not for the faint of heart, though. Or for anyone offended by foul language or jokes that can be a homophobic or make light of sexual assault. I honestly cannot say that I found all of Glenn's jokes funny but I didn't take them to heart, either. Yes, he's crass and abrasive but his tone is full of humor. You can tell that he doesn't really want to "ass-rape" an author but you can feel his frustration at how amazingly awful the author has managed to write the book. If Gordon Ramsey and a sailor were to have a love child and that love child grew up to review books, it would be Glenn. That is the best way I can describe his reviews. He gets incredibly frustrated with how much a book sucks and lets them have it. Which, being completely honest, some authors really need a review that scathing.
"Brutally Honest Book Reviews" is not a lie. It tells you everything you need to know about this book before you even open it. And yet, I was still surprised by just how brutally honest they were. And that is why Glenn is now on my list of Go-To reviewers when I'm interested in a book. If he says it sucks, I'm probably not going to waste my time reading it. You can also use his book to play a drinking game. Take a drink every time you see the word 'fuck' and you should be good and schnockered before you ever even get to the three-star reviews!
April 6, 2015
Does anyone out there remember Joe Bob Briggs? That Texan movie reviewer who used to hang out in front of drive-in movies and give ratings based on breast count and pints of spilled blood?
How about Jeff Foxworthy - or better yet, Ron White, the REAL funnyman of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour?
Well, that is the sort of style of review we are looking at here. Glenn Conley writes raunchy redneck book reviews that are NOT for the easily offended. I am talking about blue language, scatological humor and the kind of critical discussion that reminds you of what your basset hound's butthole might tell you if it ever learned how to read and talk.
Well let me tell you, sewer giggles and outhouse graffiti is just fine by this old boy. I enjoyed the #$@ out of GLENN HATES BOOKS. I read the darn e-book straight through in one sitting and I was grinning by page two.
Best news yet, is the dude digs horror.
I am talking Edward Lee and Jack Ketchum the-chainsaws-are-among-us kind of horror.
About a third of the books he reviewed I had already read and I agreed on quite a bit that he was saying. You see, once you squint past the profanity you are going to realize that Glenn actually knows what he is talking about. The dude has an eye for good writing and his opinions are worth listening to.
I keep a stack of paperbacks on the top shelf of my toilet aimed at short chewy reading material. Let me tell you what. If I had this book in paperback I would set it right on the very top of that paperback stack.
There's a blurb for you - Glenn Conley's GLENN HATES BOOKS belongs on the back of my toilet!
The one change I would suggest is the cover. Although I realize where the author is going with this choice of a cover I did not feel it worked all that well in thumbnail viewing. I believe he'd sell himself a lot more copies with a better cover.
All the same, I can't wait for Volume 2!
yours in storytelling,
Steve Vernon
How about Jeff Foxworthy - or better yet, Ron White, the REAL funnyman of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour?
Well, that is the sort of style of review we are looking at here. Glenn Conley writes raunchy redneck book reviews that are NOT for the easily offended. I am talking about blue language, scatological humor and the kind of critical discussion that reminds you of what your basset hound's butthole might tell you if it ever learned how to read and talk.
Well let me tell you, sewer giggles and outhouse graffiti is just fine by this old boy. I enjoyed the #$@ out of GLENN HATES BOOKS. I read the darn e-book straight through in one sitting and I was grinning by page two.
Best news yet, is the dude digs horror.
I am talking Edward Lee and Jack Ketchum the-chainsaws-are-among-us kind of horror.
About a third of the books he reviewed I had already read and I agreed on quite a bit that he was saying. You see, once you squint past the profanity you are going to realize that Glenn actually knows what he is talking about. The dude has an eye for good writing and his opinions are worth listening to.
I keep a stack of paperbacks on the top shelf of my toilet aimed at short chewy reading material. Let me tell you what. If I had this book in paperback I would set it right on the very top of that paperback stack.
There's a blurb for you - Glenn Conley's GLENN HATES BOOKS belongs on the back of my toilet!
The one change I would suggest is the cover. Although I realize where the author is going with this choice of a cover I did not feel it worked all that well in thumbnail viewing. I believe he'd sell himself a lot more copies with a better cover.
All the same, I can't wait for Volume 2!
yours in storytelling,
Steve Vernon
March 28, 2015
This collection of reviews offered quite a stark contrast to the typically dull and safe book reviews found on Amazon. Laden with profanity and vulgar words the reviews pull no punches which at times were refreshing and humorous.
I think that this type of product has its place, and being that this is only Volume 1, I think the writer can actually have a marketable idea, if a few changes are made. First, I enjoyed the harsh critiques from 1-3 stars, but when I got to the 4-5 star reviews I grew disinterested as the entire shtick of the book is to figuratively burn books with reviews, so positive reviews go against the main strong point of the book. Second, if anyone gets offended by this (as seen in the other reviews) - one must note that it is listed in the humor category on Amazon - it is meant to offend and to be vulgar, but as in any piece of writing anything that becomes repetitive becomes tedious and loses its value, or in this case its shock value. Thirdly, I felt the writer was a bit too soft on the mainstream bestsellers, which had me questioning the writers motives for the book.
For me, these profane type of reviews are needed to contrast the typical 5 star bought reviews on Amazon. What I would like for Volume 2 would be a shorter collection of brutally honest book reviews, limit the repetition so the stronger words have more punch, and pick (for example) the top 10 NY Times Bestsellers and review them. This could merit a legitimate 5 star review from me and really help to combat all of the mass media propaganda for how great every NY Times Bestseller is.
I think that this type of product has its place, and being that this is only Volume 1, I think the writer can actually have a marketable idea, if a few changes are made. First, I enjoyed the harsh critiques from 1-3 stars, but when I got to the 4-5 star reviews I grew disinterested as the entire shtick of the book is to figuratively burn books with reviews, so positive reviews go against the main strong point of the book. Second, if anyone gets offended by this (as seen in the other reviews) - one must note that it is listed in the humor category on Amazon - it is meant to offend and to be vulgar, but as in any piece of writing anything that becomes repetitive becomes tedious and loses its value, or in this case its shock value. Thirdly, I felt the writer was a bit too soft on the mainstream bestsellers, which had me questioning the writers motives for the book.
For me, these profane type of reviews are needed to contrast the typical 5 star bought reviews on Amazon. What I would like for Volume 2 would be a shorter collection of brutally honest book reviews, limit the repetition so the stronger words have more punch, and pick (for example) the top 10 NY Times Bestsellers and review them. This could merit a legitimate 5 star review from me and really help to combat all of the mass media propaganda for how great every NY Times Bestseller is.
March 24, 2015
If you’re into crude humour then Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1 Brutally Honest Book Reviews is for you. It is obscure and comedic and I found myself laughing out loud while reading this book. The raw honesty in each review is proof of Glenn’s passion about his reading choices and it’s palpable in this collection of reviews.
I liked how Glenn has grouped each star rating reviews together - first the 1 of 5 Absolutely-F*#@ing-Terrible Stars, then we move onto the 2 of 5 Makes-My-Head-Hurt Stars, then 3 of 5 Why-Bother Stars and so on until 5 of 5 Must-Read stars! Each section of the book I found myself laughing or grinning at Glenn’s opinions, some I’m not sure I would agree with but that’s the point of a review! I found parts of the book a bit repetitive with profanity and insults but nothing that made me want to throw the book across the room as Glenn found with some of this choices.
“It’s the story of Biff, Jesus’ childhood friend. But of course, Biff calls him ‘Josh’, as you do. The book details the years that were left out of the Bible, the actual childhood of ‘Josh’ and Biff. How they learned kung-fu together. Discovered coffee. Invented sarcasm.”
Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1 Brutally Honest Book Reviews was both hilarious and a little terrifying and it is definitely a book I would recommend if you are looking for raw humour and brutal honesty. After reading Glenn Conley’s book I’m wondering if Glenn really does hate books - his collection of reviews is impressive and makes me wonder if it’s quite the opposite.
I liked how Glenn has grouped each star rating reviews together - first the 1 of 5 Absolutely-F*#@ing-Terrible Stars, then we move onto the 2 of 5 Makes-My-Head-Hurt Stars, then 3 of 5 Why-Bother Stars and so on until 5 of 5 Must-Read stars! Each section of the book I found myself laughing or grinning at Glenn’s opinions, some I’m not sure I would agree with but that’s the point of a review! I found parts of the book a bit repetitive with profanity and insults but nothing that made me want to throw the book across the room as Glenn found with some of this choices.
“It’s the story of Biff, Jesus’ childhood friend. But of course, Biff calls him ‘Josh’, as you do. The book details the years that were left out of the Bible, the actual childhood of ‘Josh’ and Biff. How they learned kung-fu together. Discovered coffee. Invented sarcasm.”
Glenn Hates Books Vol. 1 Brutally Honest Book Reviews was both hilarious and a little terrifying and it is definitely a book I would recommend if you are looking for raw humour and brutal honesty. After reading Glenn Conley’s book I’m wondering if Glenn really does hate books - his collection of reviews is impressive and makes me wonder if it’s quite the opposite.
March 22, 2015
As others have said, if you're easily offended by harsh, often un-PC language, this book is not for you.
While you might easily dismiss the book because of the harsh language, you really shouldn't. If you love books and don't mind a lot of swearing, this book will introduce you to books you've probably never heard of before. I found several books I wanted to read thanks to this one collection. Not all of them were books he loved, either. It just goes to show you that even a negative review can entice readers, because some of the books he hated, I thought sounded interesting. Sure, maybe I'll hate them once I read them, but many of them, I'd never heard of before.
So for that reason, I enjoyed it. Rarely have I found a reviewer so honest, who seems to have the same tastes in fiction as I do. Not for the faint of heart, and if you're an author who fears negative feedback of any kind, then don't read this book. Or maybe you should read this book and toughen up a bit, I dunno. That's up to you.
Glenn criticizes both traditionally published and self-published books, so he's an equal opportunity offender. He gives his reasons for his reviews, and many of the points he makes are ones I can agree with. We seem to have similar pet peeves in fiction (lack of plot, shallow characters, etc). And honestly, you know what they say... There's no such thing as bad publicity. Or something like that.
While you might easily dismiss the book because of the harsh language, you really shouldn't. If you love books and don't mind a lot of swearing, this book will introduce you to books you've probably never heard of before. I found several books I wanted to read thanks to this one collection. Not all of them were books he loved, either. It just goes to show you that even a negative review can entice readers, because some of the books he hated, I thought sounded interesting. Sure, maybe I'll hate them once I read them, but many of them, I'd never heard of before.
So for that reason, I enjoyed it. Rarely have I found a reviewer so honest, who seems to have the same tastes in fiction as I do. Not for the faint of heart, and if you're an author who fears negative feedback of any kind, then don't read this book. Or maybe you should read this book and toughen up a bit, I dunno. That's up to you.
Glenn criticizes both traditionally published and self-published books, so he's an equal opportunity offender. He gives his reasons for his reviews, and many of the points he makes are ones I can agree with. We seem to have similar pet peeves in fiction (lack of plot, shallow characters, etc). And honestly, you know what they say... There's no such thing as bad publicity. Or something like that.
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