A poem made of descriptions of startups as an “Uber for” something by the tech press.
There’s Uber for planes,
And Uber for jets,
An Uber for pills
And Uber for pets.
There’s Uber for dogs,
And Uber for cats.
Need a hot stone massage?
There’s an Uber for that.
An Uber for nails,
And an Uber for news.
And while your nails dry,
There’s an uber for booze.
There’s an Uber for kids,
And an Uber for maids,
There’s an Uber for hair
So you can Uber your braids.
There’s Uber for bikes,
And an Uber for gifting,
There’s an Uber for beauty,
If your face needs a lifting.
There’s Uber for house painting,
And Uber for car towing,
There’s Uber for clothes washing,
And Uber for lawn mowing.
If you don’t have a green thumb,
There’s Uber for flowers,
With all of these Ubers,
We could drone on for hours.
There’s an Uber for groceries,
For all lazy cookers,
And if you feel lonely,
There’s an Uber for hookers.
There’s an Uber for pot,
For sticky green nugs,
And an Uber for cash,
To pay for your drugs.
Between Uber for weed,
And Uber for sex,
You name it,
There’s likely an Uber for X.
So with startup reporters
Facing ever tight deadlines,
Perhaps what we need
Is an Uber for headlines.