But towards the end of our marriage, something else changed. For the first time ever, if I questioned or challenged him about a doctrinal belief that had changed, he started to pull rank saying he was the spiritual head of the home. That had never occurred before.
The Song in Your Heart
I always sang to my kids, and with each successive child that entered the family, they were serenaded by love and song by the older kids and me. But not so much for Caboose, at least by me. As James continued to walk into the house, I remained in the car. That one question shattered me.
What was it like in my Patriarchal home, you ask? Let’s discuss hymens.
When our eldest daughter was 13 and before she started her period, my then husband told me he did not want her to use tampons because it would break her hymen and it was important for her future husband to do so.
Johnny Hunt Has a “He Said/ He Said” Problem
Within the last three weeks Pastor Johnny Hunt has gone from “no contact whatsoever” to admitting that he had a “consensual encounter” with a younger pastor’s wife.
How to Effectively Engage with Loved Ones Still Trapped in High-Controlling Churches
So, really, the bottom line is love. Love your friends/family who are stuck in their abusive church. Show them what love is, what joy is, what freedom is, what mundane is. Invite them to share a meal with you (their favorite meal). Be boring. Be you. Be kind, loving, and accepting. This is so attractive to someone in a high-controlling church.
We Must Not Exploit Survivors and Their Stories
When we start marketing the stories of survivors for personal gain, we are no longer supporting survivors, we are exploiting them.
Religious Power and Control: Economic Control
Economic control is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Julie Anne Gets Personal about the Silent Abuse of Domestic Violence: Emotional and Spiritual Abuse
While I was reporting on abuse in the church in 2012 on this blog, this is what I was living in my home. And while I was sharing stories of domestic violence, including emotional abuse and spiritual abuse here, I was connecting with these stories in a personal way, weeping, and knowing one day, I'd be telling my own story here. The time is now.
Bait And Switch “Christianity:” Do Better, Christians!
". . . there was an intentional agenda. And we were forced to be on this bait-and-switch ride as we sat front and center in our lawn chairs."
Religious Power and Control: Threats, Accusations, and Intimidation
Threats, accusations, and intimidation are tactics used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Survivors of Bethlehem Baptist Church And Seminary share their personal stories on Twitter
So, in an effort to consolidate some of the personal stories, especially for those who would rather not wade through Twitter, I've compiled some important tweet threads here.
Religious Power and Control: Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual abuse is a tactic used by abusive leaders or groups to maintain power and control over their members.
Should I trust Christian media outlets to share my deeply painful church abuse story? Here’s a follow-up article based on my years of covering spiritual abuse testimonies, including quite a few high-profile cases.
The key takeaway is this: anytime an abuser is given a platform, that space will never feel safe for survivors.
My Church Leaders Were Abusive: Should I share my story publicly with Christian media? Is there something I can do that will affect positive change?
. . we can't change the culture of an abusive church, because while an abusive leader is in power, there is a system of abuse involved. We cannot change an abusive system. But what we survivors can do is provide a safe place where personal stories are told, heard, believed.
ACBC’s Consideration of the Duluth Model
Could the real reason for this podcast be that ACBC counselors are finding something useful from an outside source when talking to victims of domestic violence?
We Now See the Fruit of Doug Wilson’s Teachings on Marital Sex: Personal Accounts of Marital Rape
Let me be blunt: I believe Douglas Wilson has given the green light for all “Christian” men to sexually violate or rape their wives. Men penetrate, conquer, colonize, plant; women must receive, surrender, and accept.
Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
My blog broke the story on two high-profile cases of clergy sexual misconduct. These are very difficult stories to report on, especially as I get to know the survivors and the ongoing emotional and spiritual trauma they endured with these highly influential church leaders. One common misconception I see repeatedly debated in comments on news… Continue reading Clergy Sexual Misconduct: Why Victims Should Not be Blamed
To Mark Gungor: There is Nothing Inspiring about using “Humor” to Publicly Degrade Women; and Please Do Better on Sex Abuse Cases
There should be no place in Christian evangelicalism for Mark Gungor's behavior which devalues, disrespects, and demoralizes women. If Gungor is allowed to continue having platforms, then it is a clear picture that Christian evangelicalism is not, and probably has never been, a safe place for women.
Summary: What’s Happened in the Last Six Months with RZIM & Ravi Zacharias?
This post is an SSB team effort with the first draft written by Brad Sargent, with additions and edits by Julie Anne Smith. In This Post: Key Sources for Documentation, Details, and Discernment The Big Picture of the Last Six Months (September 2020 - February 2021) RZIM Individuals, Institutions, and Followers/Supporters Ravi Zacharias’ Followers; Issues… Continue reading Summary: What’s Happened in the Last Six Months with RZIM & Ravi Zacharias?
Julie Anne Smith Interviewed on Almost Heretical Podcast: Spiritual and Sexual Abuse
Nate is the first person to interview me specifically about the Ravi Zacharias sex abuse scandal and ask me why I thought it took so long for the collective church to "get it."
Spiritual Sounding Board 