After wishing real hard and thinking positively about life, the world is finally getting everything that it ever wanted: A feature film based on The Secret, the famously pseudoscientific self-help book that says all of your dreams will come true if you just think about them hard enough (and also pay money for the book, and encourage everyone you know to do the same). That book, which was willed into existence by the wishes of Rhonda Byrne, was itself based on a movie of the same name, which was released a few months earlier and featured interviews with people who had ostensibly used the titular Secret to become successful. If you wish as hard as you can, Byrne will probably send you a copy.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, this new Secret movie will differ from that one by admitting that it’s a work of fiction. Smurfs’ Raja Gosnell is set to direct the film, and the script was written by Switched At Birth writer Bekah Brunstetter. We’d tell you how, exactly, they got those jobs, but you can probably guess by now. (Hint: It involves wishing really hard). The premise for The Secret movie involves a “hardworking young widowed mother” and “a mysterious stranger” who “shares his philosophy with her and her three children,” even though that sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. Also, we don’t want to spoil anything, but the mysterious stranger is definitely whatever The Secret’s version of Jesus is. He’s probably some kind of wish fairy, who grants wishes to widowed mothers when they wish real hard. Production is set to begin in May, but maybe if we want it bad enough it’ll happen sooner. It would have to, otherwise The Secret is totally bullshit.